If farmboy looks like Zac Effron does that mean he'd be hotter if he dyed his hair black? Cause farmboy isn't farmboy without his blonde hair. It would be interesting to see though. :] So guess what I'm listening to. Yup. Rakata. Oh yeah, that brings back some memories. Bye Ame!

All along, I was searching for my Lenore, And the words of Mr. Edgar Allan Poe. Now I'm sober and nevermore Will the Raven come to bother me. Well, most of the time. Today I found out something sad, and akward. My little cousin's dad did something wrong. Really wrong. Its scary. It really worries me that he could have done something to my little cousin. I pray to god he didn't. Yesterday I went to the Horn party. It was really fun. I wish Ame would have went though. She would have gotten annoyed with Kirsten though. I did. alot. Sometimes that girl needs to be smacked. I was also upset when I found out MP had a girlfriend. Ame dosen't think I should be upset. She thought I would think it was funny, but I'm upset. I don't know why. I just don't want him to have a girl. Its not because I like him, so it makes me confused. Today I was suppose to go to arkansas, but dad won't pick me up till tommorrow. I hope I'm not bothering him by spending christmas with him. Sometimes I feel like a bother. Like I'm holding him back or something. Or that could just be my nonsense.

Much much better. Today was nice. Andi talked to Allen today and worked everything out. I called her out on alot of the stuff she was doing and she stopped. I got to work with farmboy today during geography. It was nice. We had lots of power. :] I like this boy. Trouble number 3. He's kinda sorta awesome. :] Not that I would ever tell him that. MTcat gave me my present today. It was beautiful and really thoughtful. MTcat makes me smile so much.

So I don't know if I will be able to get on much more. Today mom grounded me from the computer. I had a major meltdown in the car on the way to school. So I didn't go to school today. Instead I spent 7 hours on homework. Not fun. Ugh. I still have more work to do.

I'm so happy we get out of school soon. Two weeks without worry and homework. School mornings are not very pleasent. My mother and I got into a fight this morning over nothing. It was really very silly, and really my fault. I should think more before I speak. I tend to upset people that way. I told Andi that she should stop hurting Alan today. She got really defensive about the way she was acting. It upsets me that she would rather satisfiy her need of attention from everyone, than make sure a friend who cares for her deeply is not hurting. She has spoken many kind things about him. Half of them she dosen't mean. As a whole it hurts him. And it hurts me to see him hurt like that. I got my French Horn Solo today. It makes me smile. Mozart's Concerto 1 in D.

Its only 10 am and my mom and grandma are arguing. mom feels unappreciated alot, and nana makes it worse. although mom tends to overreact alot. haha, and thats only part of the dysfunctional family. I wish it was still saturday. I prentend like I can't hear them, when they fight. I put my headphones in and turn my music up really loud. sometimes I can't hear them after that, sometimes I do. right now I can. i wish the would get along better.

I'm glad its saturday. Saturdays make me smile. Its a time to relax. Plus its not a school day. Friday was okay. I lost my voice for alittle bit. My voice wouldn't get very lound when it came back but I presented a speech during second block anyways. When I was done, everyone clapped kinda loud so I figure I did okay even without my voice being loud. Then mi bestie Ame came over. Bestfriends make the world brighter. It still suprises me to hear her view on things. When she sees stuff she always takes in the small stuff I tend to look over. Ame has always been good at that. She has this ability to just get it. Not sure how else to explain it.