So, so far from home

In need of your voice

To lift my lonely state of mind

Hollow Crown - Architects

I've stopped dreaming. It's weird, I've been having really freaky dreams lately and they've just stopped. I'm proper disappointed, I'd just started a dream journal because of them and everything. I left the house for counselling recently. Hadn't seen my counsellor since November. I don't think counselling helps me anyway, I'm not a big fan of telling a random person all my problems, not that she can help me anyway. Anyway, I met a friend after and we were talking for hours, I hadn't seen her since results day last year. She was updating me on what all the pricks from school had been up to at college. It's kinda weird to see that life still goes on for other people when you've lost all hope for yourself. Or something... I recently realised great Anthony Green of Circa Survive. He's been in something like 8 bands, and his solo work is amazing. His voice is just so unique.

And I'll wear glass shoes and plastic wrap.

No, I'll just wear my insides, yeah.

You want to know who I really am?

Yeah so do I, yeah so do I.

See You - Saves The Day

Haven't wrote in here in ages. I remember when I wrote practically daily. And now I have nothing to write about. All I do these days is reflect. I don't have anything else to do. At least I don't feel the need to be 'deep' in these entries anymore. It's great when you realise how much you exaggerate, even to yourself. When you tell everyone else something so much that you start to believe it yourself. Sometimes I wonder what I've actually made up and convinced myself of. And how I'm meant to find out what's real...

So, I'm 17 as of last month. Meant to be learning to drive but for some reason, I fear leaving the house now. It's not agoraphobia, unless agoraphobia is characterised by a severe lack of self-confidence and the fear that someone will laugh at you/talk about you when you enter into a social situation that isn't with your immediate family. I couldn't even manage to drag myself downstairs when my cousin who I rarely see turned up. Oh well, I digress. Isles & Glaciers are amazing. I knew I'd love them as soon as the line up was revealed, and I'm happy to find that I'm not too disappointed. And on an unrelated note, I can't stop listening to old Thrice. Why they had to get so acoustic-y and soft, I have no idea. Wonder when my next post will be...