i'm cleaning right this very moment. and i had something important to say, but it seems to have slipped my mind. that happens an awful lot. anyways i'll try to post later. if i remember.

goddamn!! these songs, the weather, the walks, the talks, the kisses, the hugs, the swimming, the running, the laughing, the songs, the songs, the music, the bands, the happiness, the anxiousness. the fucking music. it. all. reminds. me. of. summer. oh how i want it.. there's only 12 more days left of school but oh, how that seems an eternity. i watched Clockwork Orange last night. wow.. what an amazing movie. honestly. i know a lot of douchebaggity "emo" kids obsess and obsess over it, but i think that movie is honestly unappreciated. sure you can say you like a movie, but do you get the real meaning? didn't think so, you fucking cockbitches. i want to go for a walk but i'm afraid that the nostalgia will get me. oh, this is totally random, but MY FUCKING LAST NAME IS SPELLED D-I-L-L-O-N. NOT DILLION. IT'S NOT DILL-EE-ON. IT'S DILLON. LIKE DYLAN. D-I-L-L-O-N. FUCKYOU. ah. anyways. as for the last entry, i wish to god i could delete it. i was not embarassed of one entry in this little journal until that one. but i can't bring myself to delete it. i dunno. maybe one day i'll get sick of living this way and read that and be like, that's thuhhh last straw, nigguhhhh. i'm going to go. i'm not sure where or when i'll be back. i may not go anywhere. i may not ever come back. but i'll see you, later. (did you know..) the kid on the crackerjack box is named Robert.

when i get high, i clean. i've been cleaning a lot lately... i just got done with the basement, then i cleaned my shoes and the keyboard. there was a lot of dead skin in the keyboard. so fucking nasty. i'm moving my endless collection of books from the basement to my room now. i think next i'll clean the hallway. this house is a fucking pigsty. i usually clean half-assedly and get distracted halfway through. but not now. i need things to be done. i watched american history X the other day. wow, what an amazing movie. i think the funniest part is how they try to portray that racism is such a bad thing and that black people really aren't that bad, until the end when that little black niggy shoots the kid with a potentially good future. hm, irony. i've yet to watch Fight Club, it's in my room. along with Clockwork Orange and Pulp Fiction. I just bought Requiem for a Dream and Pi, and holy shit. what good movies. I liked Requiem a lot better tbh, since math really isn't my thing. I also watched something called One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.. etc.. I can;t really remember what it's called, but it's about some guy who like, killed people, but then convinced everybody that he was crazy so he went to a mental institution instead of jail. I thought it was badass, since I always thought that if i fucked up and accidentally snapped or something, i could just act insane and get off (kinda) easy. i've noticed lately that i've gotten fucked up way too many times at my young age. to be honest, i dunno if i can say this on this site, hopefully the fuckin FBI isn't on my ass, but I smoke pot almost daily now. it's a ritual. I've done everything from cocaine to mushrooms. you could name a fair amount of drugs and i've probably tried it. but only once, though. i've never never never ever done anything twice except for pot. i have 2 pipes, a bong, and a bullet. the bullet is the newest, it's badaaaaass. except it's so close to my face, i keep burning my bangs. haha. i've smoked out of an empty egg, a soda can, straight up aluminum foil, a spoon... anything i could get my hands on. THAT'S what i'm embarassed about. but i'm not writing this because i'm worried that my life is going down a spiraling spiral of spiraly hell. i'm writing because i'm worried that i'm not worried. i just went in on possibly the biggest drug deal of my life, put 300 bucks in, and i'm chill as fuck. i'm not sweating it at all. i know i won't ever get caught and i know those niggers won't rat me out. i respect people immensly who don't or haven't ever drank or done drugs. "straight edge", i guess. but not FSU, lollll, little fuckin douchebags. if you dont know what FSU is, google it. i'm so very tired. i think i respect them because they are definitely a bigger man than me. they have a backbone and strong morals, obviously, because i fell into peer pressure to start smoking, fucking loved the feeling, haven't slowed down a bit since. that was about two years ago, although i had tried it before with my father, i didn't really understand what i was feeling, and was a bit freaked out. sorry. wow. rambling. anyways.. it's not that i'm ashamed, i'm definitely not. and it's not that i want help, i don't. i could probably stop any time i wanted to. but i don't. and it's not that i'm just trying to look cool. i already know i'm a harrrrrdass, why would i try? i think it's just a stoned rant. i'll probably read this and delete it later. so. if you read this, be lucky, cause youre probably the only one who will see it. i need to go clean loads more. this house is a fucking pigsty.

getcho ass out. i'm from the A, i came to party til i pass out. (lol i accidentally pressed enter earlier and posted this, so uh, i guess this is an edit.) I'm listening to the Hush Sound. I kinda like them? the guy sounds like that nigger from Fall Out Boy, though. yuckies. anyways, this week is MAP testing. MAP stands for Missouri Assesment Program, so I assume that Missouri is the only state that does MAP testing. Unless you just like, changed the first letter to the letter of the state. lol, Pennsylvania would be PAP. Florida would be FAP, ahahahhahahahahahaah. i can't think of any other funny ones. hahaha. anyways, freshman and juniors don't test so basically we've been doing fuckall all week. god, it's so damn boring. we have a bunch of presentors coming in and talking about college and other random shit. lolllll, one presentor today was talking about sexual harassment, and i fell asleep during right? so i woke up at the end when she was passing something out and i was stretching and trying to grab the table behind me (without looking) and totally grabbed her thigh. i was like, "OH. MY. GOD. LOL. SORRY." and she didn't like, laugh or even smile or anything so it was totally awkward. anyways, this week is also Senior Week which means that alllll the seniors are all gone. there was only 3 people in my math class on monday, and 2 in Housing and 4 in English. hahaha. there's 40 seniors this year, i think. probably the biggest graduating class we've had since i moved here. god, little towns suck. onto more important things: i got my room clean and my bike pimped out. i'm so excited for this summer dude. holy shit. i seriously have a feeling this summer is going to be E-P-I-C. so since everyone else has their little handy dandy qoutes at the end of all their entries, i decided i wanted to jump on the bandwagon but put little cool facts on the end of mine, since i'm literally just full of useless information. hahaha. DID YOU KNOW... In 2002 the average driver spent 62 hours stopped in traffic. L.A. drivers spent 163. p.s. check out Index for Potential Suicide

FOUND MY BIKE

maaaaaan, a long time ago i decided i was gonna go for a bike ride but it was like 2 o'clock in them orning and i got super lost so i just called my friend to pick me up but before he got there i just threw my bike over this fence and took off walking towards the highway. i misss my bike now. i'm gonna go look for it. and then clean my room some more. (i haven't made any progress since the other day i posted. :P) i'll post later niglets.

ohhhhh maaaaaan, brooooooo. i didn't do an english paper that's worth 150 points, so i skipped school. hahahahahaha. god i hope i won't become a fucking burnout. so the other day i was talking to my dad and he's like, 'what're you guys doing tomorrow?' and i was like "yer mom kekekekeke" and he goes, "you're... doing.. my..mom?... oh, well that's okay. 'cause i already did yours." hahahahahahahahahaahah. dude i cracked up for fucking ever. god, i luf my dad. he's so funny. he smoked up my friends the other day. that was probably one of the best nights i've had in a long time. minus getting home 30 minutes before i had to leave for work. eeeeeeeeeeee and then there was this other really funny thing that happened, i don't know if i can really explain it on here, but the other day me and Steven were driving up to Jodi's house, and he pointed to this tractor and was like, "that's mine." and then i was like, "ohh man this is awkward, 'cause that's actually mine. then there was like 30 seconds of silence and he goes, "wow. picked the wrong time to lie." ahahahahaha. man. oh yeah! and fuckin LOLOL. yesterday, holy shit! I went over to my friend's house to talk to him about a couple problems and his fuckin mom was home (every time ive been over there she was asleep or not there, and i hadn't met his dad yet.) and she was cracking me UP! oh my god dude. fuckin we went outside to smoke, right? and cockass just grabbed the joint and put it behind his ear and walked through the living room, and i was totally sure if his mom was cool with it so i kinda hung back a little bit, but his fucking MOM was like, "hey you guys better wait for me!" so yeah. we got high. with his mom. awwwwwkward. and then my friend went in the other room to talk to his girlfriend on the phone and i was just layin on the couch baked as hell watchin Dr. Doolittle and she comes over there and sits RIGHT next to me and starts talking all kinds of shit on my friend's girlfriend, hahahaha. and then she was like, "if you tell my son i'm telling you this, i'll kill you!" and i was like *giggle giggle giggle* i won't say anything" and she was like "no. i'm serious." like all dead straight-faced and everything andi was just like, "oh. uh. i won't say anything." hahahahahaha. like 5 seconds later she's like "GODDAMNIT MY FUCKING CURTAIN RODS ARE CROOKED! AINT NOTHIN EVER NICE IN THIS HOUSE CAUSE IT'S FUCKIN A HOUSE FULL OF PIGS!" (she's the only girl that lives there, hahaha.) and then i comforted her on her crooked curtain rods, and the night ended in all of us wrestling. i came home at like 8 so i could start cleaning my room. that shit is messssssssssy. damn. anyways, i better get off here so i can clean some more. i think it's gonna take me a couple of days to finish it, hahahah. see you later potato slayerssss.

prom's tonight, woo0o0o buddy. a lot of senior girls' have been talking shit on me (not to my face, of course. rofl.) and i know they'll say something when i roll up. and fuckin the goddamn spanish teacher is the biggest prick in the world. seriously. she's very incredibly stuck-up and i'm bout to bust a cap in a nigga. the other day i was the ONLY one walking down the hallway, and she was behind me and goes, "haaaai!!!" and so i turned around and waved and was like "hai!" back, and she gave me the most putrid, dirtiest, demeaning look i have ever gotten. and believe you me, i've gotten a lot of those. anyways, i just laughed obnoxiously loud and was like, "what the fuck is that?" and then ran in my class really quick (she was in front of me by that time) and then like 2 hours later i went to ask her a question and she completely ignored me. so i walked in her room and stood in front of her desk. still ignored. so THEN i fucking just climbed on her desk and was like, "HI ALMIGHTY SPANISH TEACHER (i don't know her name, haha), I HAVE A QUESTION IF YOU MAY TAKE A MINUTE OUT OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME TO TALK TO ME." she's a cuntrag. literally. she thinks she's better than everyone and isn't afraid to show it. she's very racist, too. and a bodybuilder. wtf. fuckin piece of shit. anyways /end spanish teacher cuntrag rant. listen to iamerror. http://www.myspace.com/iamerror your mind might explode. personally, my favorite songs are Hairy Monster and Wecamewithbrokeneardrums. what are yours?