if i've learned anything from this shit... it's you don't sleep. and next thing you know you take over the motherfucking world. and then that world takes over you. that's when you're really fucked.

this life is a difficult thing to live through. especially when the fingers are flying faster than you can think and thoughts are recorded before the words leave your mouth. and the ties come undone, too far too loose. you can't pull the laces tight. not again. you gotta suck it up and invest in a new pair of shoes. well i got a better idea. fuck the shoes. walk barefoot. no ties. these frantic words are leaving adderall laced bloodlines. my extremities are buzzing, shaking as the drugs pulsate through my veins. little death makes life more meaningful? question mark. these chemicals make every letter too important to erase. i'm too frantic for these thoughts. i just want to make something beautiful. with meaning. but hidden in metaphor. and adorned in jeweled syllables. fuck why am i not creative enough for this? for this love of my life. i'm so possessed by this though of attatchment. this idea of obsession. an obsession that isn't thought of as creepy. FUCKSHITGODDAMN. this sufferage. fuck me i'm not voting. ah my words are turning on me. but this is what i need to find something useful. a sentence that will live. that will inspire. that will hurt and that will love. love and be loved. my life has been so strange. i'm in love with this aspect. because the untouchable. the unreachable. the unthinkable. they've contacted me. reached so far down into the puddle of muck and distaste below them. yes they reached down. and they shed their light and brought me to the surface. and i reject this. shun their good graces and spit in their faces. look at me. rhyming. but yes. i shot down my chances. and i laughed at the stars. i wish i could go back. is there hope? i believe so... the best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize that two out of three ain't bad, ain't bad

i'm so lost. and you're not here. there's no one around to show me. i need a flashlight. that's so pathetic. but lives are so easily broken. bent and distorted. treated as playthings. wait lives have meaning? who the fuck ever told you that? they were probably baked out of their mind, darling. now run along and kill yourself. that's what you fucking want. that's what you fucking do. you beat yourself silly and expect me to be the savior. to change everything about myself. when you don't even... okay. to you promises aren't real. they're words to hide me behind. so i'll go away. i'm flitting through rays of light. captured by their warm embrace. softness and lovely ribbons of incandescence. and i'll wrap myself in the transparent sheets, and i will hide for you. hit me like a ray of sun burning through my darkest night you're the only one that i want think i'm addicted to your light