i'm out of it. actually no, i'm in it. i'm SO fucking in it. i hardly stand it. i feel myself. everything. is so. fucking strong. acidic decay and burns lining every inch of it. so much struggle pulsating along. i can hear it everytime. i feel it. don't you remember that? i fucking feel it. please don't forget. pleasepleaseplease. but i guess it's not my turn anymore. 'salright, i'm getting used to it. everything repeats itself. that means i was right. it's my job, no one else's. i was right, man. do you understand that? holy fuck that's awesome. now suck it up, woman. it's not your place. all you gotta do is fix it. that's it. Tongue in cheek till a hole burns out her mouth, And fingers crossed like the promise of cub scouts, And we know that the picture in her heart shaped locket, Is far from an inanimate object.

why is this happening? seriously. please be serious just this once. you can't lie to me like that. can'tcan'tcan't. fuck. i'm sharing a soul with at least two other people. and i am shaking. he did last night. he can do it again. liquid ice is surging through my viens. running down my neck. a light drip spanning from just under my jaw. dancing through these narrow inner canals. down my arms and wrists. freezing my body to this place. i can't move. can you hear that in my voice? please tell me it's there. "it's okay as long as there aren't any razor blades there" did you really say that? say that to me to me. this vulnerability is the perfect time buddy boy. it's softening me. i'm willing to slow down. i already have. catch me now okay? i'm letting you. but just for tonight okay? just for right now. just now. okay? I don't think they know that I know how to swim, You're feeling numb, from all that has become, It leaves your gums, slips down your tongue, and travels fast down towards your lungs

i miss the cold mixed with heat. it never warmed you up but you still felt it there. lingering just out of reach. freezing my feet to the floor. every morning. punch me in the stomach. i've forgotten to breathe. thank you.

i'm not meant for dependencies. because we're both a letdown in the end. i'll never speak it and neither will you. if only everyone were as stubborn as we are. there'd be no one left. so... i'm kindof smiling. you're taking me to those falls. or i will seriously hurt you. i don't care how golden that air is. Have I fucked things up again? I'm dreaming, Too much time without you spent

institutions were never a good idea. nope. nevernevernever. leaks of human life spring from the floorboards. and it's sucked dry by those who were never born to begin with. people who drip from the mouth. black. can anyone else see it? please tell me someone else sees those stained lips? i'm not even using retarded metaphors here. i actually see black stains on people's mouths. crazy. artificial lighting stresses me out so very badly. this feeling. it rises in my chest at the cardinal falseness cast around me. what it does to me. it's agonizing. but my agony is a lie. think about other people, woman. fingers tense, skin recoils, blood stops and pulses in irregular intervals. it's like i'm watching a movie of myself. but there are pieces of film cut from the strip. and every so often i jump about. i skip. i pause. i go back. i LEAP forward. my chest rises and falls and pulsates. i can't breathe. who do i think i'm kidding? does anyone breathe? Day 2. Slit her throat on the frying pan, you caught cold and forgot the plan turn the dial on the oven man until the skin has got that even tan