So ye spent my night on lyk a couples fest...fun times. My mate has jus started goin out with this lass an another mate is goin with this other one...an i spent th nite wlakin round with thm an a couple of other ppl tht i dnt really lyk...then another mate came with his gf, so nw im fukin depressed!! Fukin sik of bein single. I feel lyk such a loser cos of it. An it didnt help tht th lass was bein really patronisin to me. I know i dnt say much. I lyk it tht way. Haf of everythn i hear ppl talkin bout is stupid an they say it for th sake of sayin it. Im jus a prtty shy guy. i never know wht to say haf th time...bt its really annoyin tht i know im a fun guy. bt most of th tym tht guy only comes out after a drink. I keep lookin at myself in th mirror. I cnt help it bt i hate wht im lookin at. I jus wish i cud find a way to do my hair without lookin lyk a complete tool. It wont stay th way i do it in th mornin an i giv up when i go outside. Why cant i jus ask her out?? im such a fukin pussy lyks. Anytime anythin decent come up shes doin sumthin else...or i am...or i cant talk to her or whtever. Its really annoyin. An i thnk we cud be great together... I need to connect to you now... Come over here, my dear. I want to have a word in your ear.

Ok, i had a very odd dream last nite. So i go to sleep at like haf 1...nothin wierd but my dream was ttly mental. I occasionally hav wierd ones... usually after drink is involved. But this was fukin wierd. So im bak playin football (i havent in lyk 2/3 years) dunno y but its th same team tht i left...i thnk. But anyways im playin an trainin an we're onto the match part at the end. Im a striker so chasin a ball down an it goes to th keeper. One of the cunts tht i started on a few weeks agao. I realised tht i wasny gna get to th ball but thot i keep th chase. I was inches off an take him out...by accident but on purpose. So he dusnt take it tht way an kiks out at me...so i jump on him an start punchin him in the face an smackin his head off th ground. After bout a minute of this i get up an kik him an walk away. So 2 weeks later (in th dream) im bak at training bt thers only bout 4 ppl there an another 4 wachin. An for sum reason my friend Ez- tht used to nt like me, tht i fell in love with, tht i hated, tht i fell in love with again, tht i stick up for at most times nw...- starts cryin. I dont know why bt she dus. So i go up an ask whts rong an i walk her home. So at her hous we go up to her room, which is actually a sofa bed at th top of a set of stairs- basically a hallway with this sofa bed. We si on th bed an start talkin an get under her covers to keep warm... i thnk. By this point i had taken my sock of an was wearin shorts so looked naked when i didnt hav th covers over my feet. Then i go to kiss her-obvo from these rollercoaster feelins above. As soon i i do she says NO an pulls away- as she has always dun or wud do. So i drop it- wierd for me bt hey. Then a bunch of ppl turn up to th house an it looks lyk im in bed with Ez bt make nuthin of it- Very odd. We were never left alone at school when i luvd her to th point she stopped talkin to me an even nw they cant leave me wen i speak to lasses. So this party has jus randomly started. Then there talk of this othr guy P who has sorta started stalkin her (in real life) an he apparantly made a pass an she wants to be with him...bt dusnt cos he's stalkin her. Then this lass tht hates Ez turns up an were lyk woa y is she here whos it gunna be next Kebab? Then i turn round an theres th guy tht i beat up at football an his friend. So i say to Ez jus tell thm to leav. so she dus an as im goin to get thm to throw them out sum guy appears at th window...jus sum random salesman an my Aunties nieghbour...tht iv nvr spoke to in my life. This is a second storey window an there jus standin there. So me an Ez go down to speak to th guy an i'm throwin one of th guys out. I go upstairs to see where the other is an he's walkin slow. As he goes passd Ez he starts chokin her so i run an knock him off. So he starts on me...again. He runs at me, i run at him he tries to pick me up bt i throw him to th ground an kick him an thn throw him out th house. At this time im so freaked out tht i wake up thinkin fuk did tht happen or wht cos at times in the dream im thnkin tht th things tht happened were a dream bt this was real so wake up confused an a bitg scared. I chek my fone an its haf 1. in the afternoon tho. So i slept for 12 hrs but felt lyk these 2 weeks of events. Actually a bit scared tht sum wer lyk true thngs tht i want to happen an sum ar th exact opposite to wht is happenin now. They say a dream only lasts 20 seconds. I reckon tht tht one lasted at least 5 minutes. It was really wierd lyk tht ep of smallville where clark sleeps for 2 weeks an thnks his dreams are reality. So anyways party tomorow...wonder if i do start on him...or if i tell anyone bout th dream....or if i try to get with Ez...or Han.....or if ill get my stupid diagonal sunburn, tht is only on haf my body, out. The decisions. If this is a grower why cant we take things slower The Star maker's gonna make you sad the dream maker's gonna make you mad I dream your dream for you an now your dream is real. How could you look at me as if i was just another one of your deals

So ye jus in from work....been ther fo 6 hours, pretty tired nw lyk bt wot evs. In the middle of exams th nw, ther ok...if they cn be tht is. Bt 1 left :) Sittin wachin Batman forever. its so rock an roll its unreal lyks. I love rock an roll stuff, its so cool. Its shit bt still amazin an cool. Stuff thts retro an used to be awsum bt now its shit haha. I luv retro aswel. Lyk this head band i used to wear...i jus luvd wearin it bt no one wud leav me alone werain it...either flickin it or fukin dissin me for wearin this piece of elastic. Bt hey dnt need to see them again cos i finishd school :J. Sos i started wachin Ross Noble again an i thnk it has actually mad me funnier...well sorta. Ill say sumthn tht i normally wudnt an it will be funny. Well i spose thts my two for today...im pretty tired nw its lyk 2 so im off. Its so rock and roll to be alone he catches raindrops from his window they remind him how we fall

I hate my life...................Cant fukin wait to leave this shit an these fukers behind.

Ye so am sick of skool nw lyks, i fukin hate everything bout it, least its over in a couple of weeks. I mean thers sum gd parts bt this whole year has been utter bullshit, if anythin cud hav went wrong it did. Its lyk sumone jus wanted 2 fuk wit me lyk. I cudnt start a subject cos it didnt hav a teacher, i failed one of last years classes so had to do it again and hire a tutor, i moved skool so i cud do the subject thts had no teacher...but thn moved back cos th skool was shit. When i gt bak ppl liked me for bout a week thn went bak 2 bein dicks. It went gd for a while bt thn it gt shit again, this las tht i became friend with jus stopped talkin 2 me for no fukin reason, my best mate became a complete asshole when hes around another couple of assholes (who i used 2 be friend with bt also fuked off fr no othr reason thn i can see as sittin with another friend at lunch). Bt nw it seems 'cool' to make fun of Ezz, its prtty pathetic hw badly they do it, i fukin love her an love speakin 2 her an shit bt they're all lyk 'ye Ezz is fukin ugly an shes a bitch an no one likes her...' an im sittin thinkin u know wht th fuk if u dnt lyk her dnt fukin talk 2 her, ther ttly obsessd with her even tho they hate her, its fukin retarded. An nobody in th whole fukin year cn leav her out, im prtty sur im th only person who actually likes listenin 2 wht she has to say an shit, bt more ppl wud if they actually fukin spoke to her instead of dissin her all th fukin time. Sure whn we speak we argue an annoy each other an shit bt its prtty funny, its lyk wen u bully sum1 when u actually like thm... u know playful shit an tht. Ppl think ther all amazin cos they watch Family Guy. I know its funny, i started luvin it back when they were cancelled after season 3, i bought th boxset with every episode, i even remember fallin in love with it bak when it was showed on channel 4 in th middle of the afternoon, bt ppl think ther all original an shit bt its nt even funny any more i thnk it peaked durin season 2 an 3 nw all th shit is th same, bt ppl still luv it, it really is jus average now, not great bt ok ill watch it if its on. An its the same with the inbetweeners... its not funny bt everyone luvs it, iv watched 3 or 4 eps an seriously i thnk iv laughed bout 2 times, its totally unbelievable an every character is soo annoyin an unlikeable. An frm th trailers for season 2 it had a Yoda joke (ye it was funny th first time it was done...in 1979!!!! bt nw EVERYONE HAS DONE EXACTLY THE SAME JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it lookd lyk th same jokes from season 1 "Oh i go to skool with a briefcase HAHAHAHAHAHA...no. Everyone says its jus lyk their lives but it really isnt an the entire concept is soooo old an has been done sooo many times oh luvable losers at high skool, cant get a girlfriend an one of thm is retarded allowing thm to say stupid shit. An haf th times the characters jus change personality, th retard will say somethin clever or wotever its fukin stupid. An y dus everyone love th lonely islands so much, ill admit its funny...th first time u hear it then its jus sad an shit. Shal i stp now or jus keep goin??? I thnk ill stop :P Im glad i got tht of my chest haha. Im lovin you you're out of range I wanted you you're out of range You aren't allowed to say that you're better You aren't allowed to say that cos you're the hipster typy

Ye so this is gna be an actual blog u know lyk ttl american style. So Super Furry Animal realease their new album Dark Days/ Light Years soon (i dunno it mite be out already) but i read in NME one week that it was gna be called 'The Very Best of Niel Diamond' an i think that it wud possibly have been the BEST album title ever!! i mean what cud have been better an cooler thn tht?? An tht gt me thinkin of some other great album titles so hears the top 10 or so: 10. How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb- U2 -I mean seriously how awsum dus tht sound, you read it then hear the leading track 'Vertigo' an its jus crazy. 9. Automatic Writing- Ataxia -erm who? exactly one of the bands tht only Ali has heard of. Yeah so Automatic Writing is lyk literally telling th future, getting into a euphoric state and writing anythin, random lines an shit. An this album sorta is lyk tht 5 song 44 mins long its mostly instrumental with sum lyrics, its brilliant in tht. 8. Mens Needs, Womens Needs, Whatever- The Cribs -One part equality and ninty nine parts Ryan Jarman and his uncaring views, all summed up in the song 'Be Safe' where Ryan can be heard sayin 'Wont me best bt who cares?' 7. Californication- Red Hot Chili Peppers -Lets face it, it wudnt be a list from me without the chilis. But seriously i know its a song on the album (i hate when they do this its pretty unimaginative) but this jus always makes me think of drugs an stuf for whatever reason, an it is a pretty cool sound. Lets face it California is the best place to write a song about, its a great place an it rolls of ur tongue. 6. Urban Hyms- The Verve - Just one of the great albums to come from Manchester in the nineties but it has by far the best title, I like my religious irony as u'll see but it does sound cool and even if it wasnt called this The Verve or Oasis would come to mind if u sed it to anyone. 5.Heart Tuned To D.E.A.D. - Switches -Who are these ppl i find? Ye there awsum. Part of the minority of british that have made it bigger in the US thn UK. But i hear this title an i thnk wow! radio! an th whole D.E.A.D jus adds to it. Theyr not sum shitty emo or anythin think a toned down cribs an ur there. 4. Silent Alarm- Bloc Party -Ye guess what? Ali likes his irony and this is full of it. First th whole 'Silent Alarm' u know it screams (well whispers i spose) that its gna be sum soft core rock shit thats everywhere and the Cover gives of the same vibe. But as soon as its in the player everything kicks of an goes crazy. Ok so this is where it got pretty hard so take this as a joint 1st or whtever order u want i went this way. 3.Is This It?- The Strokes -Again Ali loves irony. An this starts off slow with the title track, borin beat an leaves you thinkin Is This It? but then jus kicks off an ends on 'Take It Or Leave It' one of the 100 best guitar riff according to rolling stone, an with immediate classics like 'Last Nite' and 'Someday' you are left wantin more and more... role on Room on Fire. not really. 2. The Photo Album- Death Cab For Cutie -Just genius, not a great album but a great title. Luv It. 1. Neon Bible- Arcade Fire -Oh where do i start? Irony i spose an religous irony at tht, it screams Arcade Fire tho, brilliance and genius an social comentary, its jus great. Ye so thts th best album titles from my personal record collection so feel free to recommend notable absentees. Riot City Blues-Primal Scream, Wincing The Night Away- The Shins, Its Blitz!- Yeah Yeah Yeahs, What Hits- RHCP, Just a few tho

so another month gone, i mean to do this more but never do. Arsenal won tht match btw :J Moved into the new school this month, its pretty cool. I finally did a graphics prelim this week...and gt an A!!!!!! which is some achievement lyk, no teacher an all the gt a B an a C in my othrs, need to get another B tho to go to glasgow. People thnk im borin cos im always doin my folio bt im doin a years worth of work in bout 8 weeks so i can gt to th uni i want.. fuckers. I got a question printed in the new Q aswel :J bt the answer was pretty much FUCK OFF haha. Im working too much next month, i need time to finish school work an practice for my driving test but im gna b stuck at work all the time. Speakin to Ezz again, dunno wht it is bt i jus luv speakin to her bt dnt wanna slip bak into tht hole again :T dunno wht to do. Started listenin to Yeah Yeah Yeahs after readin sum1 elses journal... an really startin to like thm. Combinations of i dont know and your false sense of six! Heres a song that finally you can understand

Ye so Arsenal r playin tonight =J, i hardly ever get to see thm nw, ther nvr on TV =T oh well. Im finished my prelims =P an nw iv gt a week off =DD i thnk im gna try an get fit, u know go on my bike everyday for a bit bring bak last summer. My arm is really sore jus nw, i thnk its frm all th guitar playing im doin, an all the writin isnt really helpin. oh well cum on the Arsenal, im off. I told you before... Its gotta stop now

Ok so shit got different this month. I'm goin to Uni!!!!!!!!! Aberdeen gave me an unconditional :D and 2 conditionals in Glasgow :) bt im never gonna get into Glasgow Uni :( an A an 2 B's with 1 an a haf teachers >:(. Prelims on Friday an Tuesday :S People can be cunts sumtimes lyk. You try an be nice to them an they jus throw it bak at ya. Why?? I mean fuckin seriously im sick of these ppl who think ther soo much betr thn me, its pathetic hw materialistic they cn be aswel, only carin how you look an shit. And stop sayin av gt a shit taste in music. Jus cos its nt mainstream dusnt mean its bad. Oh no he dusnt lyk pendulum. Who cares give me a bit of The Cribs Maximo Park Death Cab John Frusciante The Gaslight Anthem The Shins White Lies Louis XIV. I mean haf of them are sorta mainstream bt jus cos sum ppl havnt herd of them it means ther shit. Bt who th fuck do they lyk?? Scoutin For Girls, Avenge Sevenfold, G'n'R, Metallica. Ok so i dnt lyk stupid repeated choruses frm money desperate fuckers an companies. Or shitty metal band tht have a million songs tht sound exactly th same. Im nt sayin am right bt fukin give me my opinion please. An if were goin by whose bettr look at sum of my bands, White Lies- candidates for album of the year already, Maximo Park-Mercury award nominees, The Cribs- One of the best live bands around, best writers, Arcade Fire- Album of the year last year. And theirs G'n'R- hw many bad reviews did they get?? 14 years is a long time to make a shit album. And stop tellin me what is an isnt funny 'oh rapist glasses is the funniest thing ever' NO ITS NOT!!!! Its sad if you find that so amazin. Go watch Flight of The Conchords or sowt- sumthin that is actually funny. Cunts. I discovered Flight of The Conchods and Demitri Martin this month :D sum funny shit lyk. Rediscovered my love for John Frusciante aswel :) This fears got a hold on me Farewell to the fairground. These riides arent working any more Dreams expire. And they never come back

OK so this was lyk the worst week ever, how all this shit could happen within a few day is unbelievable, it felt lyk someone was doin it on purpose. -so on monday dougdoug left for canada for 14 weeks an th only tym i saw him th last week was on sat nite for lyk 10 minuts when i was working :( -tuesday was wierd cos it went lyk good thing then bad thing grrrr. first i found out my graphics teacher is in hospital an im already soo far behind cos he didnt start til october an my exam is in may then we got our photos from th xmas dance which gt everybody on a high, when i gt home i gt a letter frm strathclyde uni-my first choice- sayin that i was rejected bt also gt the RHCP DVD live in Japan so i was lyk :( :) :S then i had a completely shit drivin lesson, i was expectin to be told to book my test bt he dusnt want me to do it til easter >:( - wednesday i find out tht my english teacher is gonna be changin to my guidance teacher so we're gonna lose 2 periods a week, an since i failed last year this was about the last thing i wanted :T - Thursday i was pissed off cos i was sposed to be havin a meeting bout the whole graphics situation an the guy jus didnt come -Friday i took out my anger on the guy that was sposed to come see me bout grafics an i told him basically how shit th skool was to me an tht gt me a bit pisd for th rest of the day oh an none of my friends hav money so i can hardly get out 2 th pubs at weekends >:( Life's confusing me There's so much I don't see There's nothing for me anyway Love don't choose me