Current Music: Paperthin Hymn by Anberlin i don't love him. i don't know what to do. he's been saying he loves me, and i have said it back simply because i felt so bad not saying anything back towards him. but i don't love him. it's so unfair to him, cause he thinks he's in a loving relationship and he's not. i feel terrible, guilty even, every time he says he loves me. i say it back, but i don't mean it. i feel like a horrible person.

Current Music: All Hail The Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas so, i'm going out with someone. i'm not sure if i like him. i still have feelings for the other guy i've been talking about. i'm just sick of waiting for him to make a move. i made it clear to him that i like him and he did nothing with that information even though i know he likes me too. ahh idk whatever. so yeah i'm going out with this guy i met about 2 weeks ago. he's nice. makes me laugh a lot. i guess thats whats important, but idk if i like him as a boyfriend. well i guess i will see how it goes. i do feel kind of guilty though since i have feelings for someone else while i am going out with this guy. idk i'm so confused just thinking about it. eww and another thing. the guy im going out with knows my cousin. and before we were going out, he and my cousin were cool with each other, but since my cousin found out me and this guy are together, he hates him. they're about ready to fight each other. i hope my cousin is just doing this cause he is honestly worried about me and trying to protect me in some way, and not that he is jealous. i really thought the whole strange crush on me thing was over. and he is dating someone else anyway! it doesn't make any sense. idk whatever....its still creepy. and my best friend just told us that she is bi. and not only that but she is dating one of our other friends who came out not that long ago. ok, now im not homophobic in any way but something just doesn't seem right about this. and its been bugging me since she told me. i really just don't see their relationship lasting. something tells me that my best friend is only in this to hook up whereas the girl she is with is starting to fall hard..and fast. i dont want anyone to get hurt but it might be inevitable. and i know people are gonna have to start taking sides when they break up. i just wish friends weren't so confusing