pre much thats bout it kayyy i cut last night, too low on ma arm, still above th elbow tho fuck it hurts the skin pulls evry time i move n its gonna b hard 2 hide gonna go cut soon fill in that space between those 2 lots of scars yeah gave his sunnis back found out lians gonna fight him 2morrow fuck i dontwant that it shouldnt happen but anyways luke that cuntlicking, motherfucking son of a whore so i gave him his sunnis back thennn i get a txt from him a little while later can i have ya friends no shes hot FUCKKKKK him but i dont want them fightiingg NO i wsh i could just stop them thats not possible tho, not at all fuckkkkkkk thats alli can think if summat happens to either of them itll be my fault

so latley i havent writtten much um, im depressed, more so than usual, im happy for a minute, then th slightest thing will bring medown th smallest tiniest fucking thing its doesnt go away iv been cutting so much i love it and hate it at the same time i want so many more cuts but i cant, nt in the places i want, not on my arms that wont work, too hard to hide pple they try n help me but its hard i cant accept anything they say that im this beautufil good person bla blah blah but i really dont think that i am and wen they tell me that i feel like theres so muc pressure put on me 2 b that person i just cant finally, parents are away this weekend, im satying at grandaparents,working, seeing dot, stayyin at rans its good to get away cept for the tonne of schoolwork dragging along behind :S its horribel so much work its so hard i want to leave i rekonn in the holidays im gonna jump on a train to melborne mayb with sally get away from it finally start livinn and fucking luke rackked his sunnis th other day kinda by accident but i didnt wanna give em back so he started again more than usual, "il get ya sum if ya send me a pic of u in th sunnis, sunnis n nuthin else' 'i remembered something, another kiss, at the junior school, on the playground?' 'maybs wen ya give th sunnis back we could go out the back oxfam, hook up?' 'you know you want me, deep down, and im here waiting for that day' FUCK hes horrible him and his fucking way with words but how does he not understand that he disgusts me, hes dissalusioned i dotn want him at all that broken record he sings i delet all th texts from him mayb i shld keep em, get a restraining order i dotn want him near me when he starts like that it just makes me feel horrible today b4 piano he said summat and i felt so horrible i almost had a breakdown in ma leson tho sumhow i pulled myself together, n played the best i had for agggess thats good i sposee but fuck i dont want this life at all cuttting in class, not sleeping feelin so terribel so much fuck it

tryin out ma new blade ist so sharp 6 baldes for 2 bucks chaep as chips i love that sting th blood i should get back to doin me indo eh i wanna wriet atm i cant sleep well ispent hours dreaming bout cuttin lats night over and ovre luke started again iv finally learnt 2 ignore it i need ta see daniel

finally worked out what im actracted to DERRO-ness yeah im cool :D cept for elli oh.. jamie ot emo hair now he looks more like a anime hes hot dammit :p oh.. prepared for war... pls. stop reading, i feel lik i cant write whatever anymore coz i no ull read it sorry lian i need someplace for myself

a funny conversation: are you a virgin? yep good!! your too young to have sex *5 minutes later* do ya wanna have sex with me??? he he thanks preparedforwar still pleasantly surprised when ppl read this but how dya no i had purple hair.. which it isnt no more :( its like black with kinda purplsh shit :D mm.. went bowling last night was fun :D :D with andrew, germany n dot i wanna cut my arms again uno how wen ppl lose limbs they still can feel them phantom legs or summat??? i can feel the blade on my arms i had just done my art.. 3 more words to do and i felt st johns fucking grammar wrong now i gotta do it again and a semesters worth of indo in 5 weeks then exams its too hard these days just ta get up off ma ass to do anything fuckkk itttt