todd died today. it's such a shame. life is wasted on those who don't enjoy it. he was a happy boy. his joy was contagious. i only wish i'd been closer to him. and i passed up all my chances to be close to him. but it's not all my fault. he passed up the chances to. we didn't have many since we got into high school. and we hardly ever did see each other. we should've never assumed we'd have all the time in the world to start over with our friendship. perhaps i didn't learn my lesson the first time with my grandfather. i need to start enjoying people. enjoying life. i need a cool shower. and a nap. rest in peace todd. i'll never forget you. and always regret not taking the chances to be close to you.