it just sux being me right now.....honestly it does i finally came to the realization that i WAS raped....and now its too late to do anything about it =[ i went 2 whole weeks without cutting......and now i am mutilated again i really hate myself....i always thought that rape was when some scary looking guy jumped out at you in a dark alley and screwed you......but its not always like that.....in my case it was a hot 21 yr old who said all the right things at the right time.... he pretended to love me....pretended that we were soulmates.....told me he wanted to marry me once i was 18...he said he would wait those two years....he was so sweet that when we slept together i thought everything was okay since this was the guy i was going to marry someday...but when my parents found out......and there was a big deal over it made.....once i was hospitalized for trying to die for him......he split.....wwent down state....got into a college....got another gf....his age.......if he ever really loved me then he wouldnt have moved on so quickly... im hurting like crazy now life sux when your me

this website has been acting up for me for the past few days and it was driving me CRAZY ...anyway im here now soooooooooo...... i have been fighting with my mom a lot more than usual =-p but my Daddy has been GREAT! I told him that I was having my dress custom made for my sweet 16 and he said okay...then i asked him about what my budget would be....he said there wasnt a budget but just warned me not to go overboard!!! yay me! ive decided instead of a limo im getting a party bus! [woot! woot!] i thought it would be more interesting cause EVERYONE and their mother get a limo i think im gonna get a Beatles tribute band for my party but idk yet what I want lolz i have until august to plan....ive already made sure that 4 different schools are gossiping about it! haha anyway im bored.....i have an article to write...then i have a webpage to design LATER! -natalie