he doesnt know how bad i hate him right now. but the truth is, i hate myself so much more.. for making myself so vulnerable.. i know that there is probably no way that he reciprocates any of the feelings i have towards him. so i'm basically setting myself up for a heartbreak. once again. for the second time. i hope he is worth it. wow. he probably has NO IDEA. i feel like a freak.

hanging on the edge of my seat. eyes fixed on the screen, waiting for an email. waiting for a telephone call. waiting for a response. this feeling is burning a hole through me. wishing i knew.