I am denial, guilt and fear, I am the prayers of the naive, I am the lie that you believe. And I control you. I drag you down, I use you up Mr.Self-destruct. You let me do this to you. No, I can't, You are but one of many pigs, one that deceives...or shines intellect. Hey pig, you've left me here...i'm all alone. I need something new. I just don't care anymore. Nothing turned out the way I planned, there's alot of things I need you to help me understand. What am I supposed to do? God is dead and no one cares. I'll be in hell, look for me there...SURPRISE! March! Push! Crawl right up on your knees! Please! HEY! I wanna a little bit, I want a piece of it..dont like the look of it, dont like the taste of it, I wanna watch you go down!.......All the pigs are all you'll know, I'll give you all that you want, doesn't it make you feel better? I wanna fuck it up, I need to watch you go down.....Help me! I broke apart my insides...The only thing that works for me..help me get away from this hell. You get me closer to god. I can't give up completely, can I? They had all of them on their side...they had to fucking covet what is mine. Pig, how'd you get so hard? Why'd it take so long. I didn't hurt you...nothing can hurt you. I feel you away, where have you gone?....The you that they know he had some second thoughts. You're broken and sore, The you that they know he isn't here anymore. You are becoming me. I, the pig, I won't give up, I want you dead...God damn all this noise inside my head, it's not worth it, I want to feel again, to dream. To hope, to love, to care. I need a savior, salvation. I do not want this. I need a gun or a warm place to hide, erase all these memories and feelings inside. I hurt myself, psychological angst. I could die tonight but fear of being stuck in another dream, inside my head. Leaves me somewhat damaged.

I just wish there was something real, wish there was something true. Gave up trying to figure it out, just worn out from all of you, I piss my soul away. Gotta fill myself up, gotta let someone in. Let you fix me since i'm broken. This wasn't meant to last anyways, blind happiness in slavery. Slaves of our own world. devastating isn't it? The perfect little dream, the kind that hurts the most...forgot how it feels, well almost. Such a shame, it took her to make me realize, now I feel...no longer a being, but something without. Something static, something metal an non-entity, covered with hope and vaseline. I see it all used to be mine, now I burn in my steady systematic decline. I hear something...Who are you? What is this...

It all started, the march. Days turn to nights and nights are neverending. I feel myself breaking down. People are starting to dissapear, my vision has blurred, my head is a hole to fill your mistakes. I won't obey, I won't immitate. The pigs speak, I hear their sweet sounds, I can't give in. All of this is a terrible lie we choose to surrender to, daily I feel punished. Why? Is this ant mound not under that magnificent magnifying glass already? I see messages, I decay, I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme. Once I was like you, I cared, I dreamed. Now it's fading, i'm down in it, down in this shit hole. I found salvation once in another person, sanctified, she held my heart with a smile, a cunning smile. I'm a fool. For the longest time I just wanted something..anything, but always what I can never have. Am I of greed? Envious of your world, that is nothing but a facade of what you choose to make it. For I hear a cry in my sleep, in the dreams I get lucky to have, this shreik in my nightmares. What of it? I don't know. I used to care truly. I gave it my all, but kinda I want to give up, give in. Let you all win. Not without questions, why has my sin been put on display? Why is it me that chooses these games we play. I have reason, I have control. I beleive once again, and that's what I get, for believing. I'm drunk, but right now i'm so in love with her. Not salvation, she is the devil, fucking me in the back of her car. Trunk-space of another failed chosen. Maybe i'm all messed up in her, Promise carved in stone, her ringerfinger no longer naked, yet deception shown.