"It is our worst moments that define who we really are." I am surrounded by Love..I have parents who love me unconditionally and would do anything for me. I have a circle of amazing friends who together provide the strongest support anyone could ask for. I have a boyfriend who I am deeply in love with, and will hopefully never have to part from. And though there will be pain and tears and tantrums, I pray that I never lose sight of just how lucky I am. Acceptance will always follow grief, and comfort will always follow pain...I have enough amazing people in my life to know that I will always get through. I owe everything to those special people who surround me at home, school, work, out and about....everywhere. I love you guys =] x James

Wow, it's been well over a year since I've written in here...doesn't feel like it. So much has changed... I have a new love interest-My boyfriend of 13 months. On 8th June, I discovered I was pregnant. I told James that day, we saw the doctor the next...And that was it. Last Friday,10th July, at around midnight, I had a miscarriage.I cried the whole day. The following day, I was crunched over on my bathroom floor, crying with contraction-like pains.Everything feels so surreal.. I want my baby back. I never felt such love before...Those simple things that brightened up my life-coffee, alcohol, cigarettes- Yes, it was difficult losing them. But it was worth it, and I stuck to it. Cut down on the junk food, made sure I got my five a day and calcium, protein, all that stuff. I realised, while carrying my baby-or some may prefer embryo-that I believed in love at first sight. I knew that the moment I looked at my baby, I'd be smitten. At nights, I lay in bed with arms around my tummy, and thought such beautiful thoughts...In my head, I told him or her that I loved him/her. It's funny how a tiny bunch of cells can teach you life lessons in love. It's funny how, when you really want something, you'll give up anything for it. Looks like I have to wait years for that...