ease your feet into the sea my darling, it's the place to be take your shoes off curl your toes and i will frame this moment in time I've stopped hurting. I have friends and I have distractions, and I have love even if I can't touch it. I don't know whether I should admit it to myself or carry on being friends, because I've never seen your face and yet you're more real to me than most people will ever be. I was never going to become this kind of person. My musings aren't fun.

I hurt today. Oddly, though, it's outside of me. I can feel it, and it's there, but it's more of a millstone than a feeling. It's just above and beyond my breast, and love is happening just behind this, and anguish is in my stomach and boredom in my legs, and nothingness happens in my lower arms. I wonder why hurt and loss is beyond me. It feels too big to be contained, and I'm not even that upset. Maybe my feelings are obese?