I had the weirdest/scariest/worst dream I have ever had last night. It was set at my school. And it started out like any other school day. But in the dream I was really high and there was this fight in my homeroom. And I got pushed down and my head hit a table when I fell. Then, by the time I woke up, it was time for social studies so I went to class. But apparently my teacher thought i was depressed and was worried and started talking to me because he thought i cut and i was like NO! I DONT I DONT! and he went to talk to my last years science teacher and talked to him. And he said that i did cut. Then my social studies teacher took me to lunch and everyone was talking about me on the way there. Then I got my food and was forced to go to the hospital and got an MRI for my head but i was fine so they took me to the psyciatric level and had me in therapy. Then I woke up and my head hurt really bad so i took two asprin. It was very odd.

My sister came home last night. :(

Why do I have so much fucking drama in my life? My ex Andrew told me he loved me last night. And I still have feelings for him of course. He was my first love and those never really end. But I didn't tell him because I wanted to avoid drama. This week has been terrible. My parents have been fighting non stop because my dad is home for once. He's only home on weekends usually and my mom works on weekends a lot. They have been fighting about how they treat their kids. Because my mom is insane and my dad is laid back. I'm not saying insane just because she's controlling and stuff. But she really is. We are trying to get her to go see doctors but she doesn't think there is anything wrong with her. Oh well. Life goes on. I hate Christmas. But Happy Holidays anyway.

YAY!!! I'M SINGLE!! WOO! I hate having a boyfriend. I'm too much of a whore.

Wanted: Perfect boy. Requirements: Taller than 5' 9" Shorter than 6' 2" Weighs more than 130 Weighs less than 150 Nice Not too nice Compliments me Not regularly Kind of a bad boy Intelligent Laid back yet put together style Not into anything serious Can talk about his feelings Laid back just whatever attitude Must get along with my friends Must not flirt with tons of other girls Must be funny Smart sense of humor not perverted Loving Caring Skater/Emo/Scene hair Gives good hugs Doesn't care that I don't like to kiss Doesn't talk all the time Won't text me all the time Calls more than he texts Can just sit and talk instead of fooling around. Are my expectations too high? Or does this guy really exist?

holy shit. this was like scary accurate. Your Existing Situation Feels obstructed in her desires and prevented from obtaining the things she regards as essential. Your Stress Sources Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality. Your Restrained Characteristics The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are. Clings to her belief that her hopes and ideas are realistic, but needs encouragement and reassurance. Applies very exacting standards to her choice of a partner and wants guarantees against loss or disappointment. Willing to become emotionally involved as she feels rater isolated and alone. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense, though she tries to avoid open conflict. Your Desired Objective Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offering quiet contentment and a sense of belonging. Your Actual Problem Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem. www.colorquiz.com/

So you know that boy I told you about? He sucks. I started going out with him the day after the dance, December 1. I loved it until about three days ago. He was amazing. He was nice, he complimented me, and had a great sense of humor. But a couple days ago he took a joke about me too far. It was a perverted boy joke. And it was about me. He doesn't even realize I'm mad at him. Ugh. I just want to throw something at him. Anyways.... I've been talking to my ex-boyfriend more lately. His name is Andrew. I went out with him last year for a month and then we tried it again five months ago and it lasted about two weeks. it doesn't sound very important but it was. He's honestly the most amazing boy ever. He's really sweet and sensitive. And really cute. I love that boy to death. I'm really happy we're talking again. Because he hated my guts for like ever. And I hated myself too. Finals this week. Wish me luck.