It's 5:21 and all I can think about is why it's raining so Goddamn much lately. I'm wondering why time goes by so much faster in the summer, and all I can do is wish for that October feeling. Crisp and alive, when the leaves, and my heart, are on fire. Their crunching against the hard ground is the only thing that really makes sense. I'm thinking about why can't it be sunset all the time just to take my mind off you. 5:25 Will every minute that passes bring me closer to you, or bring me more disappointment? 5:27 I feel like I should go eat something, but as soon as that registers in my brain, I realize that all I want to be tasting is you. 5:28 I'm wondering if you were ever real, or did my pathetic brain merely invent you to keep it company? I miss you, and that's the hardest and most brutally honest thing I've ever admitted, even in my head. Maybe you're nowhere now, hurling through transitory like a never-ending raindrop, and I'm just praying that one day we'll collide again. 5:31

Oh my good gracious, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Warped Tour is in 2 days!! I feel like a big bottle of carbonated beverage that Fabio just shook up. Speaking of Fabio, he wrote "romance" novels. Lmao, my sister owns one about him being a pirate. I started reading it, and it was just awful. So I actually really like my family. I kind of was distant from my dad, because I blamed him ( and still kind of do) for the family being split in two. But we really bonded over shitty music on the way back to my house last week. I really should learn to appreciate what I have more often. Actually, more people should. It drives me crazy when people say they hate their parents, because usually, they don't. I think it's pretty hard to hate your parents, to be honest. Unless of course they did unspeakable things to their children, but that kind of goes without saying. I think some of my friends do it just for attention, or for a certain image. I don't know; our generation is too fixated on image and we're all a bunch of attention-seeking whores. Sad, but mostly true. Anyway, I love my parents, even if I don't always like them. And I'm very grateful I have the mother I do, because she's excellent, even if she doesn't always like the music I listen to. Hurray for people, and hurray for life. I'm such a lame-ass sometimes lol.

I'm on my sister's computer because unfortunately it is the only one that is connected to the internet. Hence why I'm listening to Blue October. I'm not saying they suck or anything, I just normally wouldn't listen to them. But anyway, if there is one thing I can't stand, it's when people use poor grammar and writ lyke dis. Ho man, I want to shove a dictionary down the throats of people who say "dis", "dat", or write "r u thereee". Oh my good gracious, I can't stand when people add extra letters to words that they don't pronounce. I can understand it when they add extra O's to "so", because you actually pronounce the extra length in order to exaggerate something. But most times, it's just wrong. So that's my small rant for tonight. Today was uneventful; I went to work with my dad and read White Oleander all day. It's an amazing book with so much emotion and imagery. I don't understand why we can't read books like that in class. Oh well. Hope everyone had a good Canada Day, and hope all you Americans have a good Fourth of July tomorrow.