As said by Nawaz Sharif: "It is not a sad day, it is a dark, darkest, gloomiest day in the history of this country. Something unthinkable has happened. Something inconceivable, unthinkable has happened."

I think "The Great Below" by Nine Inch Nails is probably the most poetic song ever written. Where else could you find a verse like such: "All the world has closed her eyes, Tired faith all worn and thin, For all we could have done, And all that could have been." It's really eerie and atmospheric, and contains all sorts of romanticized, symbolic references to death and acceptance. Amazing song, really. Probably the best off of "The Fragile" which is a mind-blowing album. I love NIN so much.

My friend and I were thinking about going death metal carolling (is that spelled right?) on Christmas Eve. It would be awesome - taking Christmas carols and making them even better by adding some references to blood and Satan, and then doing it all in this really kickass guttural roar. (I can do the death metal growl pretty good.) Anyways, I doubt it's gonna happen. But oh well! Winter break is here, and I'm not really that stoked for it. All my friends are gonna be busy or out of town, so I have nothing to really do around here. As Kurt Vonnegut would say: so it goes.

I

So, as I mentioned before, I'm thinking about buying the CD "Leviathan" by Mastodon. (Or maybe I'll just wait and have someone buy it for me for Christmas.) The CD's pretty amazing from what I've heard. I could do a track-by-track breakdown of it but that would take up a lot of room. Anyways, the whole thing is that it's a concept album (though I use that very loosely) based on Moby Dick. I mean, there are constant references to white whales, one of the tracks is called "I Am Ahab" and they even mention Queequeg once or twice, I think. IN OTHER CD NEWS: My brother bought me The Cure's "Disintegration" for my birthday. South Park was right. It *is* the best album ever.

So I was reading the newspaper today, and they had printed a lot of letters that little kids had written to "Santa Claus." Naturally, I was looking them over and laughing at the horrible spelling and grammar mistakes until I came upon one that made me actually go "Aw..." A 9-year-old girl had written that she didn't really want any presents at all, but that she'd love it if her dad would stop being wheelchair-bound and her grandma's heart surgery would go well. It was much more poignant and touching than that, but you get the idea. After reading it, I realized just how shallow and materialistic all the other letters seemed. I also realized that kids can be way wiser than I give them credit for. Anyways, that girl is awesome. I hope everything turns out as good as it can for her and her family.

And here I am, wasting my Saturday. I could be organizing my laundry. Or doing homework. Or working out. But instead I'm writing another journal entry at SongMeanings and listening to "Battle Hymn" by Senses Fail. I wanna get Mastodon's "Leviathan" CD for Christmas. I feel bad and materialistic for wanting Christmas presents, especially cause the holiday sucks anyways. And I want you all to know that this is where my antitheistic rant against Christianity would go if I wasn't so tired.

So, I just noticed this quiz on Fallen Leaves' journal (who in turn got it from RosesAtSunset) and I just couldn't help but paste it here with my own answers. Lo siento, lo siento. I feel like such a thief. :_( 1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Probably looking into someone's eyes while I talk about myself. I hate talking about myself. In person, that is. 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. Why were you angry? That would be today. I was really pissed off for the most cliched of reasons: girl troubles. 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make one phone call.. who do you phone ? Nobody ever gives me their numbers, so I think I'd be stuck calling my family. 4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? Probably, but only my family and very, very close friends. b) What do you do with your remaining days? Drown in bitterness and regrets. c) Would you be afraid? No. As retarded as it sounds, I'm not deathly afraid of...death. Who knows, though. I'm sure that my opinion could probably change when faced with the reality of the situation. 5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love. Which do you choose? Trust is more important, but love feels better most of the time. I can't pick. 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save the dog? Shit. I'd save the dog. I have the biggest weak spot for animals. 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say? I'd try to tell them as gently as possible that I'm interested in someone else. Which I am. But I think it would rock that they digged me. 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? Not really. I suck as a friend. I'm the luckiest guy ever to have friends that put up with me. 11. Does love = sex? I don't really care. I'll take either, though which one depends on my mood at the time. Love if I felt really good at the time, sex if I was depressed. 12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to quit? That's a toughie. Probably not. I know, I know - I'm selfish. 13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? What did you have to tell the person? Jeez, I really can't remember. I know that sounds all retarded and dramatic, but it's true I think. 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back? It would be hardest to tell a friend I love them. It's a problem I'm struggling with right now, actually. 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Other people, despite my massive ambivalence towards humanity as a whole. Unless it was a "I Am Legend" scenario. That might actually be kinda cool for a while. Speaking of, that's a very good book. I might go see the movie. But I recommend you read the book. It's really good. 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you? I think the last person I told was my dog, but that's making me sound lonelier and more pathetic than I really am. It just happened that I mentioned that to my dog a couple minutes ago. 18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? Robert Smith. He would go out there and kick that creeper's ass. 19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why would I not? 21. You are holding onto your grandmothers hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? Well, both of my grandmothers are dead, so I'll say the baby...but at the same time for all I know that baby could grow up to be the next Richard Ramirez or Ed Gein. Maybe I'd let them both go. That'd be a hoot and a holler. (I'm kidding. Sheesh.) 22. Are you old fashioned? In some respects, but I'm mostly very modern and progressive. 23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? Dunno. 24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? To have never loved at all. It would be far easier. 25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? I'd wish to have infinite wishes. Then I'd get to work.