update on the last journal: the heart melter didn't go to the party and he now has a girlfriend. lol. but that's cool cos i don't know him. he's just beautiful. but i thought it was going to well with this guy who i think i've fallen for. and everything was so perfect. then his ex told him she's still in love with him. and i got dropped like a stone. it hurts. we're never gonna be such close friends again. it hurts so much. 'this is the one.. you've been waiting for.' song of today: the colorful quiet - the one

there's one guy who makes my heart melt. and i've never even spoken to him. and he's going to my bessie's party on saturday! my bessie being a guy and therefore no chance of him getting with the heart melter (: omggggg life is fantabulous. person a: stop getting so wrapped up in your own lives and look out for your friends. not your boyfriend. there's so many of us right now that need you and you haven't even noticed. person b: i love you. you're the best best-friend i think i've ever known. happy birthday and please don't leave for uni. what am i gonna do without you?! song of today: love lockdown - kanye west. x

i'm doing that thing where i think too much again. about whether or not i should go out with this guy. he's really lovely. but i don't know if it would work. and i know i should try it anyway. but if it doesn't work then the friendship would be totally screwed. on a brighter note i got a modelling job the other day. which is totally mental. 'cos i don't even see myself as attractive. haha how emo does that sound. boo frickin' hoo. nah babes i love my life. even school's ok. though the work is getting pretty huge. song of today: sex on fire - kings of leon.

i love school. i'm a geek. and i love it. me and my mates had a free lesson today so we went for coffee and fruit pastilles and then back to school. it was really nice, dead relaxed. but i still don't know what to do about the luuurve situation. the third guy has gone to his ex girlfriends party tonight. and he's still in love with her. godddd. i'm thinking too much. song of today: she left me - go:audio.

i started 6th form this week. and weirdly enough i'm really enjoying it. i love the lessons even though at times they can get pretty tough. and i'm really looking forward to working hard. on the luuurve front all is confusing. there's 3 guys i like. the first asked me on a date and then i found out he had a girlfriend. the second acted like a fool so i stopped talking to him, and he's now declaring undying love for me. the third i really like but is still madly in love with his ex girlfriend. i'm going to meet up with the second soon and sort stuff out. not that i know what that means. maybe i still like him. maybe it could work. maybe i like the third guy too much for that to happen. really who knows. song of today: paper planes - M.I.A.

i just read easy-lucky-free's journal. and it said that she felt loved because she didn't get mentioned in other people's journals. sarcasm is lovely (: haha. so.. well done easy-lucky-free for your two a grades. done my nice thing of the day. x

just to say well done to everyone who got their gcse results yesterday. i was well chuffed with mine (: history, english lanuage, maths, business studies - A* english literature, business studies, art, science (double award) - A statistics - B latin - C that's right. an A* in maths. wawaweewaaaa! haha only one person in the world will understand that. and they'll never read this. enjoy the rest of summer everyone (Y) song of today: we made it - busta rhymes.

i heart big brother. i also heart the fact i'm going away in 10 days. i heart my life. song of today: colourful life - cajun dance party.

had a proper girly day today (: nails, cinema, topshop and the biggest pick 'n' mix you've ever seen. i love my friends. how lovely they are (y) also. the guy from previous journals is doing my head in. ..again. he just keeps texting me. i hate clingy guys. unless of course, it's brad pitt/tyson ritter/brandon flowers. i just need to get away from it all. which i will be doing in 11 days (: SZIGET FEST IS LOVE. going with my dad (y) song of today: ultraviolet - the stiff dylans.

i just got of the phone to my bestest friend in the world (: i love that chicka. she told me i should ignore the guy from the last journal. i agree with her. let him stew (y) i'm gunna invite her round. my bessie lol. she's such a gem. i swear she's the only one i can count on totally. her and my dad. i love my dad. as you can tell i'm in a totally lovey mood lol, i take everyone for granted so it's just hit me how much they mean to me. love you guys (L) i wouldn't be who i am without you. song of the day: july - natty.