Ive been working on writing songs for a while. They all failed. It seems like every time I try writing something it seems so cheesy afterward. I will always be my own worst critic. So Im waiting until, I don't know, sometime when I know I'm ready.

Doing nothing on thanksgiving..........................bored to death as I am................................................might go on the pre-holiday savings at the guitar center this Friday.................. what will I do. Hey but I do have hope of doing something great soon. I have the feeling that things will be looking up. Not really now though. So many things happening at once, questions I have that no one can answer but myself, and such little time left for all this. Right now I'm babysitting a couple of kids, since my mom went out shopping with her friend and my dad's at work. If I was home alone right now I'd be playing on the piano , songs like starlight, sunburn, clocks, when you were young, and speed of sound, but don't mean to attract the little kids attention. My song of the week is twisted logic, or fix you. Im pretty sure it's twisted logic but I saw the music video for fix you and it was pretty awsome. Great song by Coldplay. Love it!

Ive gotta step up!!!! 'the hell, this is a music site for all I know! not one to bawl all about issues and that's what everyone seems to be doing now sure its a journal but not really the kind to give personal 411 im no prep, hippy, noob, blablabla but think optimistic ideas. Not pessimist shit!!!!! No one wants to know( or at least me) anything bad about yourself. It just might make them think worse and they might turn emo and miserable or something like that. This is kinda lame saying this but..... STEP UP AND NOT OUT!!!!!!! -that was harder than I thought (shit) I meant....... - that was easier than I thought :)

If I was 5........ id be wasting life watching tv all day if I was 6........ Id do the same thing when I was 5 if I was 7........ Id run around the house all day long if I was 8......... Id be in Hawaii right now If I was 9.......... life would be no big deal to me If I was 10........ Id be following people around like a hungry monkey When im 16....... Ill have the hottest band in the state When im 17....... Ill start recording music When im 18........ Ill be off to college, Maybe in Boston When im 19......... Performance and contest will be a big deal When im 22....... ill graduate college and get my own manager When im 23...... Ill start having music tours When im 24....... Ill start being worldwide This is a very "out of the blue" journal I really dont wanna get married or anything cuz love doesnt matter to me unless its just this one particular person. either him or not but hes too old for me which is why im feeling blue. my brain sometimes carries all of this worry crap that just pisses me off. i need help im lucky im not emo because if i was id probably be dead because im depressed :(

Usually my 4th of July celebration is a fricken awsome day. But today is just like another boring day of the week. At least it's not hot as hell outside when we do the fireworks. We bought this fireworks pack last year and never used it. It's called Great Balls of Fire. Might as well turn on the song while we do it. Although that would be kinda idiotic because we wouldn't be able to hear it over the fireworks. Everyone else I know is doing something today. Anyone else having a sucky independance day? E-mail me and we can share the stupidity.

I just wrote this new song. still working on it though. Havent figured out the lyrics only the chords and instrumentals teh heh. I guess it wouldn't be called a song yet than. ive been trying to get my dad to learn this song with me. but he hasn't been mentioning, even though he said he would. I might wanna perform it in front of people. actually I do. definitely. I cant even practice it anymore because my mom is sick of hearing it im sick of hearing classical music!!!! all of them sound the same, and it makes me fall asleep. anything rock and related stuff is my style. im more like my dad personality and stuff not my mom shes almost my complete opposite unfortunately she hates secular music even though she listens to it. she tells me not to listen to it hypocrite an average asian parent im not full asian and she treats me like one im irish and german also FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!!!!! where my last name baumgartner came from. and my first name rebekah used to be spelled rebecca oh well, my mom can never make a decision even with my name including hers.... at least I got my dad, because he's my hero

i have to get tutored. even though i get good grades. for 2 hours twice a week! that means less time I get to spend on playing on my guitar and piano, and less time listening and downloading music into my computer. less time to go on the internet and stupid useless stuff like this. less time thinking.............(I think alot) Oh well, hopefully it will all pay off

Ive been in Ocean City for a few days. Not only around that part but also Assateague Island. These times were a good way to write songs, not only because of the scenery, but also the calmness of the area allows you to think what you are actually doing. Even fooling around can make a big difference. Im really no scenery person, and dont really care about the beauty of the ocean like my mom does. But just looking at just makes your tense brain relax. Kinda odd, and makes you sleepy. So if any one of you people are camping out, and really dont like it, you should think about what kind of songs you want to write if you want to become a musician. I was bored to death at times on my trip so I played and fooled around on my dad's guitar and surprisingly came up with something. It helps.

Some people think U2 is overrated. They were one of th e most popular bands in rock'n'roll at a time in history! Sure they sing about politics and religion crap, but the music they created was different from the others. And they changed their style over time to sustain their popularity. I dont care about what you completely jerky critics have to say something just to pick out someone for thier style, lyrics, age, and all that other crap. Some of you just have to learn how to shut up and look on the good side evenly with the bad side. Same with all fo those other bands like The Beatles, Nirvana, Bob Dylan.......Every artist has their own style, it depends on our taste. Hall of Lame. Notice all of them have I's in it. COMPLETE OPINION!!!

Ive been looking for band members since last year. Progress so far....... One person! And I dont even need her, she just volunteered, sorta, and being the nice person I am, I couldnt say no. I really didnt care last year, but when it got close to summer I really started to care. im having a HELL of a hard time finding a bassist, drummer, and one more guitarist. I myself play the guitar and keyboard, and would of sang , but the volunteerer wanted to. Besides, I cant play 2 instruments AT ONCE. So i would need another guitarist as second or if I play the keyboard. Im kinda nervous too, since i never heard her sing before... currently buying a drumset have 3 guitars( 1 is mine)w/ 2 amplifiers going to buy bass already have bass amp need a keyboard(used to have but gave it away) all of this crap ticks me off.