It's Monday, and I'm home alone again. Mom went out to the grocery store for her lumpia business again. Today wasn't so bad. Lilian and Noel included me in the converstation at lunch. Noel was a little sweaty from PE (But I can't smell him. Maybe I'm immune to it...?), and he didn't change his shirt. Lilian tried poking him, and she said, 'Eww. You're all wet.' I laughed so hard. Noel seemed embaressed when he said, 'Can we talk about something else?' (or something like that, bad memory). They helped me with my math homework. Smart people... grrr... I wish I was that smart. I'm smart, but not as smart as them. I always ask them to help me with math homework. I sat next to Noel in 8th grade in math class, so getting help wasn't that hard. He's always so nice, though he tries to act evil. After school, I usually walk with Lilian to the library, or I walk with Lilian to her house and then continue to the library. But today, Lilian needed help from Mrs. (or is it Ms?) Sze (our math teacher) because she didn't get the math team stuff. She joined because she thought it would look good on her college resume. I was going to join with her, but then I rembered that I hated math. Lilian said that it would be fast, but it took up the whole afternoon- until my Mom picked me up at 4. Lilian kept saying she was sorry that she was stupid and didn't get the math team stuff, but it was okay with me. It was fun in the math room. Emily (Michelle's cousin) was there for a little while, and Mrs.Sze (pronounced zee) is nice. And I also finished my math homework (there were textbooks in class) and I filled out most of my planner. I just found out that there are 178 days in the school year. Mrs.Sze tried to get me to join math team when me and Lilian left, but I didn't want to. Math is my least favorite subject, besides PE. Well, I don't have anything else to write, and my Mom might be back soon, so TTFN.

Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Paramore- Brighter art_xx (got this off of someone else's journal, but it's awesome)

It's Saturday again, and my Mom and Dad are out again, so I'm home alone. I like it, but I don't know what to do, and I am not cleaning the house. I've started thinking, what if I'm wrong about the whole Lilian liking Noel thing? What if Lilian gets me to tell in front of Noel and I'm wrong and I look a like a loser? Lilian brings Noel into almost every conversation we have, she once talked about how nice he was while staring off into space, she likes poking him and seems to need his attention. But what if I'm wrong? And Jess, that stupid cousin of mine, threatened to tell them about my suspicions! She was like 'so should I tell them what you said yesterday?' I told her 'no' and started walking away. Then she called 'they're going to find out sooner or later' and I wanted to kill her. Now they know that I'm saying stuff about them. They must think I'm going crazy. *screams* I have a major case of paranoia. Anyway, tomorrow is Aunty Fe's suprise 50th Birthday Party at some hotel in Waikiki. Jess and Trav won't be there because they're going to be with their Mom and their Dad is working. But they might be able to come, Trav is going to check with his Dad. Well, I don't know what I'm going to do today. I don't have anything else to write so TTFN.

It's been 2 days since I last wrote. I've been really busy, or just to lazy to write. Thursday, my Mom's b-day went well. I got her the bracelet, almond M&M's, a dark chocolate snickers, and a almond snickers. She loved them. Yesterday was also the day I ditched Lilian and Noel. Noel acutally came in the morning to Jess's spot (he usually goes to the place between L and M building) and then later on we met up with Lilian. We were between L and M, and it was so boring that I decided to get out of there. When Lilian and Noel weren't looking I walked a few steps, and then turned back to see they weren't looking. Then I hid behind the corner of L building. I looked back, and they weren't looking, so I walked on to Jess's spot. I complained to Jess about how guilty I felt. Then at break in the cafeteria (we usually eat breakfast during break) they didn't say anything about it! It's like they didn't notice I was gone. It made me feel depressed, and I complained to Jess this morning. She was with her weird, perverted group of friends. Michael (one of Jess's friends who's on the football team) told Jess to prove she wasn't lez (she doesn't date, so everyone makes that assumption). So Jess grabbed the root of a tree, like it was a... well you know. Robert laughed. Robert, aka chessclub (because he looks like he's in one) once asked Jess to be his valentine (it was close to Valentine's Day), stalked her, and asked her to his girlfriend. Jess turned him down. But this afternoon, she e-mailed me saying that she thought of, day-dreamed about him in class. She said that he said something like "grab this tree... it's real." that morning. And now she's killing herself over it. I don't find it surprising. I always knew she did. I mean, the guy adored her and followed her around like a puppy. She was bound to fall for him. Well, today at school we had to play Speedball for P.E. I thought it would suck, especially since I had my period, but it was actually really fun. I was smiling the whole time. Robert (a weird 9th grader who seems to have ADD and ADHD) was on my team, and Zack (I think that was his name) didn't know who was on his team, who were all wearing bright orange and red vests. But what really sucked was that I had my audition for orchestra today. I had to play a scale, and some of the notes were off, and the timing was WAY off. One piece I had to play was perfect, but the other was so fast, it sucked donkey's ass. Mr. Otomo (the fat orchestra substutite teacher- Mr. Setta is on sabatical, whatever that is) asked me if I had private lessons. I have a feeling I'm going to get last chair, but it's better than being kicked out of the orchestra. Today we had to practice the Alma Mater for the Homecoming competition during homeroom in the cafeteria. It SUCKED. It was so hot and cramped, I thought I would die. And my homeroom was all the way in the back, so we couldn't see the people that were directing up to stand up together. They were yelling at us that the freshman wanted to win for once, and I wanted to yell at them that we couldn't see the stupid person's hand. Idiots. Well, I'm out of things today, and I'm getting tired so TTFN.

[This entry is was written on paper , and then typed on here.] My Mom kicked me off the computer to do her "lumpia research" (whatever that is), so now I'm stuck wtiting on paper. I don't mind so much though, it's nice in my room. But I NEEDED the computer. Today after school I went with Lilian to Long's because she needed new headphones and I saw this bracelet that you could put little pictures in. And it was on sale! It was perfect, but I didn't have enough money to get it because Lilian borrowed a $1 to get her headphones. Lilan kept apologizing and I kept telling her it was okay, her birthday is tomorrow anyway. And you know, she actually called me one of her best friends. I told her she was mine too, but I'm not sure if it was very convincing. I'm always unsure of things, but now that I think about it, Lilian really is. I mean, just becuase she gushes over Noel and ignored me sometimes, she's still my friend. She's the person I hang out with the most and have fun with. By the way (aka btw), today Lilian and Noel included me in the conversation. There was hardly any talk of MS or IM. It was awesome. And you know the thing about Lilian being leader? She really isn't. She showed me her belly, or side today a lot, literally. She kept turning and I had perfect aim. I poked her a couple of times, but I stopped because she was getting mad. Anyway, I found the picture of me to put in the bracelet. It's old, it was taken in 4rth grade, and I'm in 9th now, but it's the only picture I actually liked of myself. This one is perfect, and I don't think I look that different. The only problem will be shrinking the picture. I have a scanner, and it's a wallet size picture, but it might mess up the pixels. Oh well. And I'm thinking of putting a picture of Dad too. Haven't found one yet, but I will. I have wrapping paper to wrap the box, and vellum (fancy translucent paper) with sparkles in if for the card. I'm thinkng of putting in the quote "Although the body ages, the heart often does not." It's from my Palmistry book. My mom might get mad about the body aging, turning 40 and all, but if you really think about it, it's sweet. Well, I'm running out of paper and I have homework and a present to arrange. TTFN.

I was looking over my last entry, and I realized that I left something out of entry #7 (that's the reason why this is entry #7 1/2). Well, if Lilian gets mad at me, we might get in a bitch fight, as I said in entry #7. She might think that I like Noel, and I DON'T. She might claim Noel, is hers and won't want me interfering, and I WON'T. If she likes him, and they get together, I'll support it (no matter how weird a couple they would be). She might fight for position, like dogs in a pack. She might want to see my belly before she backs off. (The stomach is the most vulnerable part of the body, and showing it to anyone means they back down from a challenge, and let the person they are showing it to be above them.) Usually, in a large pack of dogs, there is a lead male and female. But since our group is so small, and Noel is definately not lead male (he's too nice), there's only one leader. That's Lilian. Me and Noel always listen to her just to make her shut up (she likes complaining), or it might be because we're both so nice, but either way, Lilian is leader. It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm too nice, or chicken, to eat anyone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, Lilian had a math team meeting during lunch today, so it was just me and Noel. I felt a lot more comfortable around him because Lilian wasn't there gushing over him. I actually TALKED to him for once, besides the regular 'hi'. I told Jess about it, and I showed her the conversation that Lilian and I had on paper at the library. (The stupid security guard wouldn't let us talk.) I told Jess about how much the converstation went back to Noel and the way she kept saying how nice he was. Jess said that Lilian has a major crush on him, and I agree. I hate being left out, I always feel so awkward when I'm with them, and I want to ditch them, but there is no nice way to ditch someone! Jess said that's why it's called ditching. Jess told me to just tell Lilian straight up 'Hey, I'm sick of you gushing over Noel all the time.' And she thinks they would make a really odd couple. She used the example a beaver (because of Noel's teeth) and a tuna (I don't know how she got tuna.) Anyway, I told her it's too mean to tell Lilian the truth. And after I thought about, I realized we might get into a bitch fight because she might think I like him and she does, and then we start killing each other. And it would be OVER NOEL. I told Jess that we might get into a bitch fight, and she laughed. Then I said, 'I'm not telling Lilian anything.' I mean, what would people say? A bitch fight OVER NOEL? People already think that me and Noel would make a cute couple, and if me and Lilian got in a bitch fight, they would think I really do like him. I DON'T like him. He's a friend. And imagine how Noel would feel. He'd probably be really embaressed and avoid us. No way am I saying that to Lilian. Anyway, Mom's birthday is on Thursday. (Today is Tuesday, so 2 more days.) She's turning 40 and she says she's going through mid-life crisis. I don't know what I'm going to get her, but I think a sweet card and chocolate covered almonds/macadamia nuts/snickers bar will do. Jess says that love is always enough. Well, I have to go. It's getting kinda late, and I have homework. TTFN.

It's Labor Day. Yesterday we went to the beach, and Jess and Trav brought their kayak. It was fun until they flipped it over. Sean (who's, I think, 8 years old. I know he's in 3rd grade) started making a pool in the sand, and then everyone started helping. Someone had to be constantly filling up the pool with water using a bucket. Sean gave me a hug last night. He came up to me and said 'bye' and I said bye and hugged him. He's so cute and really small. He reaches my hip and I'm about 5 feet. So maybe 3 feet? I don't know, I suck at guessing. He actually had to go to a doctor to check it out, and they don't think he's going to grow anymore. Not a lot. Kids tease him at school, and he says he's the shortest in his class. The poor kid. He once came up to me and said 'You know why I love you? It's because I care about you.' (Not exactly in those words, but it was sweet anyhow.) He says I'm his favorite cousin because I don't tease him or say bad thing about him like Jess and Trav. He's quiet and I think his parents divorce really hurt him. They're really neglected. Jess and Trav's grades are really bad. They don't even know their own schedule (the Mom and Dad have a slit divorce- the kids go back and forth between parents.) It's really sad. Before the divorce when I was I think 10, we had so much fun together. We had barbeques and sleepovers every weekend, and Jess and Trav used to be at their old house where we used to play in the (inflatable) pool. We were always together, we were so close. It used to be so much fun. I remeber I used to be so happy, I had spring fever every weekend: I used to wake up before my parents on weekends and clean the entire house. Anyway, at the beach I heard that Shayne (my 2nd cousin, but I just call him my cousin) is having a game on Friday (he plays football). Jess said we should go and support Shayne. But we don't know a thing about football. If the ball went out of bounds, we'd yell 'Touch down!' and hold up our signs saying 'Go Shayne!' But we don't know where the game is going to be. I hope it's a home game. I'm going to walk over to Jess and Trav's today, and I have some homework to do. TTFN.

Today is Saturday, and Labor Day weekend! So I have Moday off. Tomorrow, we're going on a Moonlight Picnic (going to the beach and staying until 10PM) at Ala Moana beach park. I hope Jess and Trav bring the kayak. It's always so much fun on that thing, except for when they try to capsize the boat, then I want to kill them. Well today, right now, I'm home alone. My Mom went to some business meeting for her lumpia business, and my Dad went to work because off all the paper work he has. He does that almost every weekend, and he's always so stressed out because they're always short on workers. I heard his secratary (or something like that) quit. Anyway, I have about 4 hours all to myself, and the funny thing is, I have no idea what to do. I was thinking about writing a story for fanfic (yes, I write) but I can never do it in one sitting, and I have so many ideas to write that I don't know which to do. It's confusing. I was also supposed to walk Munchy (my dog) over to Jess and Trav's house (they live right down the street). Munchy is getting fat, and I told Jess I would walk over, but it would be such a waste of time to leave the house when I'm the only one here. My Mom said that Jess could come over, but Jess doesn't like walking, and if she came, all of them would want to. (Jess, Trav, Sean, and Mandy-short for Amanda.) *sigh* So much to do, and so little time. Well, I've G2G so I can do the stuff I wanted to. TTFN (ta ta for now).

Today and yesterday, my Mom didn't go to work (because she wanted vacation to start her lumpia business) so I was picked up right after school. For once, I got home early. I usually get home at about 5:00, and it doesn't give me a lot of computer time. But today I do! At breakfast this morning, Lilan said that I liked my cousins more than my friends. I hung out with my cousin Jess at her spot the last couple of mornings, and not with my friends between L and M building. The truth is, I don't like it there. I feel like I don't fit in. Samantha Uchida (aka Sam), James Hamura, Lauren Mueller, Anna Sumida and Jessica Olaes have their own group where the talk about Japanese anime/manga or MS. And there is also Songhwa (I don't know her last name), Jodi Shirashi and Angel (don't know her last name either) who hang out there too. They're friends with Anna and them, but they have their own group where they talk about guys. I'm not in either of the groups, I'm sort of a side person, and I don't like it. I hate being left out. So I go where I feel accepted, with my cousins. I told Lilan yes, I like my cousins better, jokingly. I told her she comes to school late at 8:20 (almost right before the bell rings at 8:30) and I wasn't going to wait there just to see her for 10 minutes. She said that Noel waited there, and I said, he's a loser and doesn't have any cousins. Of course Noel waits for her, he's too nice for his own good. And I think he might have a crush on Lil (Lilan's nickname that Noel uses). I mean, if someone likes you, there's a big chance that you'll like them back, unless they hate your guts. The only thing is, Travis (my cousin and Jess's brother) and Joshua (Travis's best friend) like to hang out with Jess too. And I'm starting to think that Travis, and possibly Josua, are bi-sexual because of all the times they've touched each other in inappropriate places. And after all the times Jess has asked Travis if he's bi, Travis never denied it. I'm starting to get worried, but I'll except him if he is. It doesn't really matter to me. He's still my cousin, even if he is wierd. Noel is really smart. He can solve any problem and has a really good memory. He passes tests without studying. He's quiet, but once you get to know him, he can talk, and that's when learn how weird he is. He doesn't care what other people think about him, and he's really nice, but he doesn't like to show it. Most guys are really musclar, but he's not. (Lauren once asked him if he was buff, and I laughed.) I'm not sure how strong he is, I've never been in his PE class, but he's a really fast runner, and his bag is so heavy it feels like he carries bricks around. He's also filipino. Lilan is Chinese, bi-lingual, (she speaks 2 dialects of Chinese: Catonese and something, and is learning to speak Japanese) and very blundt. She will tell you the truth, even if it's mean (she once told me my haircut was ugly), but she says it's not mean because it's the truth. She has really bad dandruff, and has really dry skin. Not to be mean, but she is. She'll never read this anyway. No one will. Well, I'm out of things to say, so I'll write tomorrow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~