Well not much new but that I hate my life but I haven't cut myself in awhile so that's good I'm struggling with that though my friends are worried but they don't understand they don't know what its like all their lives are perfect and mine has to be the one that's screwed up... wonderful.. not only do they not understand when they tell me they do I know they're lying I don't believe it...don't want to anyway but I do and now I'm all alone and it really sucks

when people are hypocrites it is the most annoying thing!

okay so how do you deal with something you have no power over? How can I feel utterly and completely alone in a crowded room? How come Jesus is in my heart but I feel he has abandoned me? Why was everything so perfect just to get screwed up? Why is mom crying herself to sleep every night? Why does my dad take a drink and then never stop? Why do my best friends that I completely need right now leave and never come back? Why am I so alone when I've worked so hard and given so much love to everyone else? Why do my friends have to be split up? Why does everything have to be this way? "I really did love life, I just wasn't very good at it..."

"today is the day we worried about yesterday" -a friend anyway okay this is my first entry I love the song Porcelain by RHCP and ya it's a wonderful beautiful song and I just submitted lyrics for The Real Me by natalie grant but that's boring stuff what's going on that I want complete strangers to know...Well if you look at the first stanza of Porcelain then that is me if you read the song The Real Me and Until the End by Breaking Benjamin then you know me pretty well and ya those three songs sum up me...Incase you wanted to know although that's just my outside I'm way more complicated inside and don't worry I won't tell you about that because well you wouldn't understand anyway...