okay so, i'm at this point where i just feel so alone. my best friend is mad at me because i refuse to be fake and pretend that i like her friends. i hate when other people are fake, so why should i be? and since we haven't been talking, then some of my other friends haven't been talking to me either. and yeah this totally sucks. i hate it. yada yada yada. but i just refuse to give in. and i don't think it's right for my best friend to just leave me like this. it makes me wonder if she was really ever there for me in the first place. and i just feel that everyone my age is so immature. yeah, i know it's senior year and all, but c'mon. act your fucking age. and i think this is why i have a harder time making friends, because everyone is like "oh my gosh! we had like, one like, smirnoff like at our like fire!" and i'm just like. one? to share among, what like, ten people? and then to hear that they acted drunk? c'mon, read the label. it's like 5%. IF that. i'm not saying i'm an alcoholic, actually i never drink. but i'm over the fact that there's going to be parties with alcohol. or that it's easier for us to access alcohol. i don't know. i really don't even know my own feelings anymore. i don't know who i am.