summertime and the livin's easy... summer cannot come soon enough. i've been going crazy waiting until high school is finally over and i'm free again. it's that time of the year where the weather makes you think it's summer, yet you're stuck inside a classroom for hours when all you wanna do is swing on the tire under the tree. i think i'm gonna go play outside now ;) (remember when we used to call each other up, asking "can you come out and play?" god, i am SO doing that tomorrow to K!)

you don't recover from a night like this, a victim still lying in bed completely motionless. a hand moves in the dark to her zipper, hear a boy bracing tight against the sheets barely whisper, "this is so messed up"... oh hahahaha, i just read that last entry. i am such a fuckup. but how i love this song. doesn't it get you hot? god. i think i'll call the boy up, after all, we have off tomorrow for election day.. i think right now though i'll go walk the dog, then go tanning. i've got a huge lab due for bio II unfortunately. gotta keep up those grades for one more month so i don't get kicked outta college before i even get there!! aghhhh...

I smoke two joints in the morning. I smoke two joints at night. I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright. I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war. I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more... lol. my braind hurts. this weeksend rocked.

turn your back on hope and go back inside, stop my bleeding heart and let the engine die... jesus christ. i want to punch that bitch in the fucking face. she has to learn to back off and know her fucking place. i can't believe us seniors have to deal with these fucking shithead sophomores like we do. on top of everything, the boy's been acting strange. he found out about what happened last friday between M and i, and i think he's wary of this weekend coming up..what with him being in a different state and all, and M being 10 minutes away. fuck M for telling everybody that we did stuff. fuck. seriously, lemme tell you how this went down. friday night i was over M's house. we were alone. but this wasn't a problem cause he knows that i'm with J and i knew (well, thought) that nothing was gonna happen. then we're sitting on his porch outside before i leave, just talking, and out of fucking nowhere his hand is on my leg and his tongue is down my throat. wtf? so i'm like, bad idea, and i mumbled something incoherent, got in my car, and drove the fuck away. now it's wednesday, and i've had to set the record straight that no we didn't "do" anything. at least not what he described. and some shitheads told J. fuckers. i mean, somedays i love my life, but today is not that day. aren't we all victims of opportunity? i'm going to the gym. work out this frustration before i hurt somebody. better hope no dickheads cut me off in traffic. later.

you could cause you can so you do, we're feeling so good... ever have one of those days when you feel on top of the fucking world? when you feel like you can do anything? i could climb to the top of the motherfucking empire state building and jump off and fly across the city. make the world jealous. i could turn off the sun. dance on the moon. graba handful of comets and toss them around. we'd run this shit. oh, reefer's bad. but you know that.

tomorrow we can drive around this town, and let the cops chase us around... HOW many more days til i'm officially DONE with high school?? I love him I love him I love him.

i don't know what i want... the boy says he wants me. i want him. we both want each other, why is this so complicated? oh right. he's in college, in a different state. silly me. i forgot. i'm driving up to see him in 4 days. skipping school rocks. since i can't tell him, i'll tell whoever cares: i love him. i do. i really do. it's hard to believe that everything's worked out so well. we see each other almost every weekend..and sometimes weekday. skipping class should be a sport. we're probabaly gonna smoke together this weekend. this is a first. we've never done anything like that--together. should be interesting. and very, very hot.

smoked out in the back of the van, says he's held up with holding on and on and on and on and on... it sucks to have a boyfriend who does drugs. but he's wonderful in every other way. and i'm not going to make the mistake of telling him i love him. not right away. we all know how that last train wreck turned out with A. we had the coolest thing going, and he had to say "i love you," and i, of course, loved him too. then 2 months later we broke up (distance sucks) and now i find out he's going to fucking brown, and has a new girlfriend. agh, my life. meanwhile, J's in jersey for college, and it looks like i'll be heading upstate next year for college. geez. but summer's gonna rock while we're together.