This week was SOOO wonderful!! Monday was pie night for band, tuesday I hung out with the man of my dreams, wednesday was IB induction plus awesome band practice that we got let out early of, and tonight was the t-shirt flute party!!!!!! I love flute parties, they are so amazing! And tomorrow is the homecoming football game (except stupid band director is making us leave after half time, and we won't perform the show after the game. gross and ergh X27) And saturday is a show day!!!! "Show day!" And then after that, the man of my dreams is making me do something with him, but I don't know what it is, because he won't tell me. That's ok though. I like surprises, no matter how much I'll deny it. Hurray for happiness!!! And now, I know I said I wouldn't complain but... ugh, I saw the other one at the pep assembly today, and I saw him, and he probably didn't see me, because he was preoccupied with his girlfriend. Don't know why I get slightly jealous, but I do. There is something between us still, but I just don't know what or when. End of Complaining. Hurray life is awesome!!!!

Wow, haven't done this in just about forever... So, where do I start? I'm finally with the boy of my dreams. I've gotten everything that I wanted, and now I'm so upset I just want to cry. I'm stressing about nothing, and it just makes me feel very lonely, depressed, and worthless. I want to throw up my emotions, and just get rid of them. I feel sick. I should be happy, I should be happy, I should be happy. Someone make me happy! But of course it doesn't work that way...I can only make myself happy. Oh dear, oh dear , oh dear. Whatever shall I do with myself? Ha ha, my mom is starting to freak out. Checked my stomach the other night, and asked if I did it, would I tell her? Hell no! Besides, I'm done with that. I'm tempted to, don't get me wrong. But I'm done with that. There's no point to it. And then there's the other one. The one I want to love, but don't all the time. He's there for me when it feels like no one else is. He knows me inside and out, almost, and knows what to say. He loves me. Says he always will. But I love my boyfriend. I am crazy, I know.