vacation was pretty good. did a lot of yardwork and have the blisters to show for it. got a bit of sun. saw Twilight- shamed to admit it, but i did enjoy it. books are still better, though. and today was wonderful... well, except for the new seats in english. but i can deal with that. i ate lunch outside today. it was gorgeous out, maybe 85 degrees. sunny and hot. summery. i was sitting by myself because my friend disappeared.. then he came and sat with me and we talked about mexico and it was fantastic. i do so love being around him... all the doubts i had yesterday and last night are completely gone. i like him and he definitely likes me. or why would he have left his little group to sit with just me? i'm always listening to BLG when i think about him. such a strong association now... it'll hurt when/if it ends. but then again, it might be a reminder of the good times. and i do so love memories.

first day of vacation and i already have a story. fell off Romeo this morning. he spooked, calmed down, then spooked again. less than 5 minutes into the lesson and i'm on the ground. now i have a massive headache- unrelated to the fall- and roadrash on my arm; my hip is sore; and i really don't feel too great. went skating last night. talked to him on the phone two days in a row. and i will be getting a postcard from mexico. played mafia in english, last block friday. never had such a fun english class. happy for vacation. and don't blame me that you didn't just plan to go away for a week. you're the vacation addict. i have friends to see at home. you don't. not my fault, so don't get all "we could be on vacation" on me. 'cause i don't give a damn. rant over. in love with thriving ivory. amazing album. not really thinking in any coherent order. oh well.

field trip to UMA today. saw GH for the first time in a year. pretty much assaulted him to give him a hug. was happy to see him. didn't get to say goodbye. wish i had, 'cause he said he's never coming back. and he's not coming home for the summer either. i said last year that i might never see him again. now i know i probably won't. i wish i had said goodbye. i had a massive crush on him for 4 years. ever since i met him. i think that counts for something. goodbye would have been nice. maybe that's why i'm hesitant about J. because i still like GH, in some form at least. even though he's out of my league. even though he's gone. and speaking of J, since when is he a theater kid? he was at school when we got back, going to see H and P's play. i wasn't aware that he went to plays of his own volition. i thought he usually just tagged along. i wish he'd asked if i was going to go... oh well. i'm gonna see the play on tuesday regardless. maybe i'll call him tomorrow to see how it was... but again, of course we all know that won't happen. long story short, in a pretty crappy mood. although. he did almost go outside with me. but he was headed that direction anyway... i have no idea what he was doing in the lobby, since we went back to the blackbox and he stayed there. i dunno. and when i said i was dizzy- which was true, although it was more lightheadedness than wheestaggerfall dizzy- he sounded really concerned when he asked if i was ok. i'm probably just making shit up. i felt guilty all day for being so happy to see G. i kept thinking of them both, back and forth, back and forth. i don't know anymore. i feel like being excited all week to see GH counts as cheating. even though nothing's official and i'm not bound to anyone. as much as i like J, more and more i feel like i'm just stringing him along. i hate this.

I hit 200 entries and didn't even notice. I was planning to write a huge celebratory entry on it, and I completely missed it! ah well. I figure I can be a proper noun for one entry. I'm feeling rather capital right now anyway. =] 2/3 of Sparta now. Lol. my friend will be excited when I hit 300 entries. then he can make all the Sparta jokes he wants. Peace, Love, and Pineapples. XD

stupid standardized testing. it's over now, thank god. three days of boredom and utter uselessness. no other state has this particular one... remind me why it's relevant? it's certainly not going to get me into college. still haven't talked to him. should. "that's what you get for falling again, you can never get him out of your head..." ~Sugarcult i might call him tomorrow. just for the hell of it. i've called him every friday for the past two weeks, so i can just say its a habit now to call EVERYONE on friday. and he just happened to be first on the list. but of course, i won't. it's not going to stop me from secretly hoping he'll call me. well, at least i'm not the only one who isn't acting. me, him, and E. all sorta hanging around waiting... speaking of which, i think- but can't tell for sure- A might like me. he knows that i don't return it (if it's true), so it's not like he'd be crushed or anything if this works out with J. BUT. he keeps saying "that's what i like about you" or "i like you too much to actually hurt you" and stuff like that. and a while ago i was talking to him about this thing with J and how i have no idea what it is- and he was like, "well, sometimes you just stay friends. and sometimes its better that way, 'cause you're friends for longer." i dunno. just these little nagging things. like, aside from H and L, i'm the only girl he hugs on a regular basis. and he hovers horribly. my one main tip-off is the hovering. gugh. that was quite the rant. i dunno- guys are not my thing. hope for once though. and for that i'm glad. one of us really needs to make a move, though. should prolly get my butt in gear and just get it over with. but wishing he'd ask me is just so much easier...