if you're always invisible so you can screen who you want to talk to...

...does that mean you don't want to talk to me?

and i have been wondering lately if...

well, i'm not going to go into it.

it's just a question i've been asking myself lately.

the answer is no, if that matters at all.

although, a related question-

is he just a result of being left out of the loop?

an inside source, if you will.

or do i just always wonder if i'm going to end up using them? 

are you kidding me?

i lost an entire entry because i didn't enter a subject.

wtf.

aaanyway...

i reread some of my older entries.

i'd forgotten about the.. messes... i got myself into last year.

it's kinda funny in restrospect.

the current mess will be just as funny in a few months. 

the question is whether i will be laughing with or at, eh?

can't wait for tonight, can't wait for tomorrow, can't wait for Friday.

Can't wait for January.

Let's skip Christmas and Thanksgiving anf go straight to New Year's.

I want to be done with waiting <3

and PS to Imogen-

your email almost made me cry.

i had no idea i meant that much to you.

love you too =]

how apropos.

well, at least possibly mutual, she thinks.

meh.

well, even if he doesn't, i'm holding up my side of the pact.
unless, by that point, i've moved on.

which isn't unlikely.

* * * * * * * * 

ugh.

my mother is a bitch.

i can't wait till i move out.

and the stupidest things, too... 

the more you want to get over him, the worse it gets.

ick.

he's so off-limits...

she thought i should have asked him to the dance.
she thinks i should ask him out.

i think none of the above.

and no names necessary, right?
those who need to know do.

and she's cool with it, but still...

i hate my life sometimes.

so frustrating.

can't wait to make a fool of myself.
[like i do every time.]

ugh.

it's getting so bad.

it's kinda hard not to though...

and why's it double-spaced now?

gr. just shoot me now.

i wish u had "pulled the trigger" this afternoon on the bus...

then i'd be able to play dead and avoid this whole mess.

"and i don't know why, i can't keep my eyes off of you" 

i hate the new sm.

i'm gonna cry.

this sucks.