It's the breathing that's taking all this work This subtle loneliness. It will probably be here forever. Lingering in the background. Harmless, but never fully cured. ...ah. That reminds me. The past few days have been strange. Something unresolved in my dreams that I'm never able to remember after waking. Something.. sad, like farewells, and bittersweet nostalgia. I get the feeling it was about somebody very close to me.. =-= Look at the sky through a distant tree It seems.. closer

[67] Thunderstorms~ Light shows in the clouds. woo rain

[66]See that line? Well I never should have crossed it Found my keys. Huzzah.

[65]You know the funny thing about it, I couldn't answer. No, I couldn't answer. What is it all for..? Time moves too slowly. I need to get out of here, find a place I belong. So tired of this world. I never thought I was fit for animation or comic illustration. Writing is not one of my strengths, but.. I was wrong. I have to do it. Immerse myself in stories greater, more free than this 'reality'. And share them. Don't wake me from the dream, It's really everything it seemed..

[64]This time it's the sun standing still Dunno. I could count on two hands the number of people I do or would hang out with at my school. I won't go into it, let's just say there's a large gap between morals, and the rest are busy AP students with whom I don't share many interests. I'm going to get to college and finally be around decent people and be like, "how i social?" heh. I'm putting off writing a reply to a letter somebody sent me. She's a year younger than I am; our grandmothers are friends and while they were visiting my grandparents it came up that we're both going to study art. "dunno" is pronounced as in the quick phrase "I dunknow" but I always read it as "du know/do noe" or what-have-you. Or iunno as yuno. *shrug* Northern Room is another incredible band, by the by. This Wreckage or Last Embrace. So good.

[63]With quiet words I'll lead you in "Being hurt inevitably breeds feelings of hatred towards your attacker. We have to deal with their hatred for us, and our own feelings of guilt. But knowing what it feels like to be hurt is exactly why we try to be kind to others. That's what makes us human." Contemplate for a moment.. then think of it in reverse. Can you think of anyone you've never known to harm another person, in any way? Slightly withdrawn or humble.. I wonder what their story is. They say loneliness is the greatest pain in this World. ... I should go buy more blue shirts and a new jacket. All this grey isn't me. cobalt blue and white. yes.

[62]If I can't hear you.. God.. what a Monday. Can a single thing go my way? I'll settle with general direction if I have to.

[61]That you were alone and lost in this world Writing about daily life is no fun. When I started this I wanted to try something different. But I think I've been doing less of that lately. So this should be the last thing that falls near the former. Lately I've been treating school like a summer class. For some subjects, I'm here because I'm genuinely interested (just the art ones, really). It's becoming less about making the grades and deadlines, and more about experimenting and learning for my own benefit. It's like a huge deja-vu experience of these amazing summer programs I used to do.. The rest of the core classes remind me of the SAT prep classes I took a few weeks of last summer. It seems weird to have fond memories of something that wasted my free time, but the atmosphere was just so much better. That and the very short time I had to be there each day made me more willing to pay attention. Without a doubt I have the weather to thank. :] On another unrelated note, have I ever mentioned how incredible Deas Vail is? (That's an understatement.)

[60]Wet tissues stick to my shoes Something that's been bugging me as of late: "Wow, you're going to be famous someday." Thanks.. really, I appreciate it, but no. D: I guess these people haven't had much exposure to as many artists as I have. I've seen countless people so much more talented than me that I can't even think of the right way to describe the gap between us. And many of them are either much younger than I am, or busy college students who just draw as a hobby, yet manage to put out things way more often. I won't hesitate to admit, however, that I have my own self to blame. I don't practice enough. Let's.. just leave it at that before I go and write a self-critical essay. Really, it's something I should be glad to hear. The reality is.. them. Heh. If they represent the average person in my audience, well, all that really matters I guess is they think so. Ignorance (no matter how petty or good the intention) is just something I OCD on.