things are perking up. i'd rather be asleep, dreaming and breathing. they saved my life. so did 1000 other bands. so did he. thank you x

i can't quite figure out which id rather be... asleep dreaming [could be a good dream or nightmare?!] and breathing. or dead...away from any terror i will and have encountered, any problems i encounter, any people who hurt me, any fear i face. At the moment [and i know this sounds EMMOOOO] but im so afraid of living, im not happy and no one does seem to care. i used to laugh at emos for being so like that, but i totally see now, for a nobody like me, i can still suffer a great deal, and while it happens its very hard, i feel so alone and want to grow up to do my own thing. i couldn't tel anyone this, so i whine, which makes it seem pathetic. and i don't know what to do!? x.