I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself.. Oh well, things just might work out for me.. Remember the 'best friend' i missed so much? Got over that now.. She thought it necessary to ignore me completely today.. And that was AFTER sending me a really crappy text message.. Ofcourse I'll give back your books, darling.. What did you think of me? Djeez!

Why can't anyone ever talk about the good things in life here? They're all just telling depressing stories and complaining about what went wrong today... It's retorical, since I'm about to start myself. I lost my best friend. Her name's Athina. "We" was everything I had, for over two years. And I lost one of the things most precious to me.. I lost our friendship. And I thought it would get better.. But it didn't. It's only getting worse. Lately all the important things in my life seem to fade away. Oh well, guess it's my fault anyway..

Why can't he just move on? Let go of me. Because i don't know if i can stand it, if it continues like this.. I know it wasn't anything more than a one night stand for him, so why is he always asking me why it went like this? As if I've got the answers now? He hurt me more than he could possibly imagine, and still.. He asks me what's going on.. After all this time.. I still miss him. And I'm just trying to find out what I did wrong.. Believe me. It's f.ing hard this way!

Just came back in. Put on a sweater and went in the garden with my ipod. About halfway through Konstantine, I started wondering.. Would he come to my funeral, one day? [Background info: I'm talking about Olivier, the guy i've been crazy about for five months now.. We had 'a thing', it was nice, really. Until he decided to go back to his ex. Apparantly he still loved her, even though he told me the opposite.. Auwch. I'm still putting my heart back together after that one.. :)] so.. Would he still care enough to come over if I'd die? Or am i simply one of his memories right now? I wish he'd come over one last time. Just to say goodbye. I know he won't. He's got his new girl now (the ex he chose over me dumped him two weeks after that).. I still miss him. If loving someone is a good thing, then why does it always hurt this bad?

It's been a long time since I posted here. Got really addicted to Songmeanings lately. Searching the lyrics of every song I hear. Weird? Naah. Reading other people's Journal had kept me busy for the last hour and a half. Boredude. Poor guy. I don't know where he's from, or what's happend to him, all I know is what he posted here. Would anyone spend time reading this? And would they even care? I went to London with school, thursday & friday. It wasn't as good as I'd expected it to be. *sigh* I went there, already really stressed about the situation between me and my 'best' friend, I was really angry with him and he didn't even seem to care. Great. .When I got there, he just acted asif nothing happened. Even greater. Why is it so hard for him to admit Karen's his everything now. It would make things a lot easier for me. I hate her. She hates me. He loves her. He likes me. She loves him. I like him. Well, I guess it's simple. Go on, be happy together. And PLEASE stop the stickyness! Get a room?! I liked Mme Tussaud's, though. And I did some excellent thinking in the Underground. On my way to be a real philosopher ;)