So. all is not well in paradise. #1-I am being stalked by a redhead named Odin #2-One of my friends has turned against me and is trying to turn everyone else against me #3-Mathew now hates me. "How did this happen?" you may ask "You two were chummy in your last journal" well we fight all the time, and its mostly my fault i assume. Like today he leaned back and "hit" (or so i thought) me in the head so i glared at him and he said "what are you looking at" and i went "why would you hit me in the head" he than said that i annoyed him and that hes not gonna speak to me and i asked why and why and why. and he then said "because you didnt give brianna a valentines day cookie, and you yelled at me" and i said "so you expect me to not react when you hit me in the head" and he said "i didnt hit you in the head, i was playing with your hair and then you got angry" see ? its my fault. I just never thought aboy like him would play with my hair. honestly. thats why i assumed he hit me. anyways the bottom line is he highly dislikes me. its so annoying and i feel so frustrated because he openly admits that the reason hes mean to me is because im funny when im angry but then il get angry and hell tease me about getting angry.. so really i cant win. life is rather frustrating.

well yesterday was good, i feel like im getting really close with peter, i dunno hes such a sweetie pie and neil, hes so nice to everyone, i iwsh i could be like them i dunno i just dont liek myself naymore, and im not so sure of anyhing anymore, i just feel wring and bad and i dont know why mathew makes that all go away school finishes in 13 days *sighs* i should take my camera and take picturs but i dont like asking poeple can i take your picture ;_; im going to miss them i wont see them all for like 2 months and even if i do, alot of epople are moving out of this shithole, i envy them. i hate this place i upset my friend yesterday, i didnt even mean to >.> im so insensitive cant wait to go to agnes waters, and gold coast and go shopping and get new connies and clothes, there is no shops here *sighs* urgh im really sore i need accupuncture my lovely accupuncture

so well disco was awesome, theyd played some really good music

~Dear heart how did you get so perfect ?`~ So tonight is the disco, and tomorrow is when i perform my play, in front of everyone, with them staring at my hideous body and face Fuck that idea scares me more than the fear of death i hate people looking at me or giving me compliments. anyways urgh mathew is so .....moody like he was talking to me fine and then hes like "Bronte shut the fuck up, no one cares" Maybe i care too much Mark asked me today if i stil like tim and i remarked that tim was a fucking fag, an mark laughed and asked if id only realised that now. i dunno that made me smile :) Urgh so today this realy mean popular girl found out that i had given people oral. and wnet and told everyone, like wtf no one needs to know about my sexual life. It pisses me off caus now all the boys open there mouths when i walk past i hate her so much so the disco. I shall take many pickatures of my friends :D with mathew ive decided that i just want something i can never have haha the time thing for when i post my journels is wrong, its not that time in australia xD anyways ive said all i need to say, i shall write about the disco later xD

Well today got sent to detention for having a go at a girl. She had been sending text mesages to my friend saying "Your such a fucking whore " "Its your fault im cuting myself" "The day you leave will be the happiest day of my life" "If i were you i couldnt get to sleep because the image of me burning in hell with cuts on my wrist would be burned into my mind" now, this is all beacuse this girl, sam is stalking this boy named robert who is 4 years older than her, and robert sat with ashleigh, the girl who sam texted. And because ashleigh moved aside to talk to me in homeroom I mean seriously girl grow up, your in grade 9 *sighs* she's gone what she thinks is emo, just so robert will notice her she sent him text messages saying that shed had sex with 12 guys this year and had the nerve to call ashleigh a whore! so when sam walked past and muttered "dirty whore" under her breath to ashleigh, i just lost it and said "You make up lies about how active you are in your sexual life to impress an older guy, while your still a virgin yet you have the right to call ashleigh a whore, your kidding youself you motherufcker" so i get snet to detention, but her face was worth it saw mathew at the skatpark, god hes so amazing, he can ride a bike and skateboard and scooter and still do these amazing tricks, and no im not stalking him, my squad swimming training is next to teh skatepark, im soo glad he didnt see me though caus jees the sight of my stomach and thighs might make him throw up im so sick of the whole tim thing, i seriously dont understand why i get so hung up over boys. and now im like chasing after mathew >.> when will i learn. me and him wanna get the same tatoo in the same spot, as i found out today xD haha were so bizarre. I dunno hes weird. like i let him go in front of me in the locker line and he wont go infront of me. yet expects me to go infront of him. >.> he had to perform his play today lol hes such a loser, and he has this kinda, twinge to his voice, its adorable anyways back to sam she says that she stabs her wrists yet there are no scars she proclaims to all that she is emo but dress's like a slut, and unfortunately picks her clothes that someome half her size would look better in. she says shes tried to kill herself numerous times but has never been admitted to hospital, and also say's that shes bulimic but cant make herself throw up >.> she pisses me off, shes lost all her friends but hangs out with the grade 7's >.> haha i love the song comming undone by KORN, its like, my life in a song xD anyways i shall now take my leave bye ^_^

Haha its been awhile well that gorgeous guy i liekd? first he dumped that girl then he found out that i liekd him and i found out he had sex with my friend and she misscarried his baby ;_; anyways im like *cry* now im just numb and ive really just stopped caring the other guy is really distracting so im like *clings* the other day i was walking home and i hear like a person yell my name and i turn around and its that guy *okay his names matt* and hes riding full bore down this hill on a skateboard and hes like 'BRRROOOONNNTTTEEE CATCH MEEEE!" and he likes leaps of his skateboard and lands on me knocking me to the ground and then his skateboard went on to the road and a car ran over it xD and anyways hum, i seriously think i talk about love too much >.> like im so pathetic, im such a stereotypical teenage girl >.< but anyways caus matts like really skinny and kinda, like an inch shorter than me and hes two lockers above me, so i was like crouched down and i felt something on my shoulders and then im like "Someones on my shoulders" -__-'' then i saw a shoe and im like -matts sitting on my shoulders....- and then hes like "IM RIDING BRONTE !" and im like "stfu mathew!" but anyways he has really bad mood swings and hell be like "i hate you bronte, yoru so ugly" but then he gets up me for never standing up for myself >.> hes a bizarre cookie lol or an Odd ball as my friend might say yeah sooo apparently the druuggie girl at school has moved onto injecting heroin before school in between her toes, sad what a waste of life so yeah im just i dunno hateing my dad atm he told me im selfish and my brother hit me in the face so i punched him in the back and dad yelled at me saying that im a bitch and that im not allowed to hit the boys sighs anyway i dyed my hair and i still dont feel better i have to perform a play *sigh* i hate it and havent memorized it ;_; anyways i shall stop whining bye!

Mmm kay the guy that i like lets call him B well b is haveing these random mood swings like hell be a bastard and then hell be a sweetie pie its so fucking annoying but why do i like him ? i was asking myself that question last night Anyways we had a walkathon this week where we walk around a sports-ground for moneyi didnt raise any of course xD But anyways i met this really really really gourgeous guy lets call him C well c and i have the same favourite band hate the same people like the same sports Like the same places etc and the most important facter of all, he is taller than me *clings* (Its terribly hard to be taller than me) and then the bombshell hit he has a girlfriend and shes really pretty and smart and funny too and shes not a slutty bitch like the popular guys usually date and theyre so perfect for each other, i feel kinda bad likeing him (in all honesty i want them to break up but i cant say that) anyways theyve been going out for 3-4 weeks i think.... so i really dont have a chance but then when have i ever ? :( Urgh i hate this..... so annoying anyways help would be appreciated xD im out .. bronte

Hm sitting here after my schools outdoor ed day thinking about life in general why am i so ugly ? Why are theyre so many remarkably pretty girls out there ? Anyways, So i like a guy and he likes my (perfect) best friend shes like barbie come to life >.< Im not. yeah sure the guy flirts with me, he flirts with everyone, and i have no proof he likes her but she likes him last year and they got on well and he flirts so much more with her, maybe im just jealous, i blame my green eyes xD On another note, got a nice massage today from a friend xD hes good with his hands, its nice to unwind The day to day stress really wears me down then i end up being a bitch to everyone, it sucks and everyone thinks im quiet but really im loud, im just um..whats a word...Intimidated easily i wish i was more confident ;_; I wish getting called names didnt affect me, like a i got called an emo cunt by a popular guy and im just like *evil glare of doom* Lol nah im not emo, im just pale, a vegetarian and like unpopular music, so i guess that makes me emo >.> wtf people out here are so judgemental it sucks Lol im such a whiner, i wish i wasnt, You know what ? I was listening to the radio the other day and i heard the most true-to-life song every, the lyrics go "Everyday I fight a war against the mirror I can't take the person starin' back at me I'm a hazard to myself Don't let me get me I'm my own worst enemy Its bad when you annoy yourself So irritating Don't wanna be my friend no more I wanna be somebody else " I reckon that sums up my life atm Hum The hot lies are an awesome band am going through there songs like its going outta style xD I hate aussie accents ive decided we sound kinda stupid xD Urgh i get told im too american caus i call it a "Juicebox" instead of a "Popper" anyways im out xD Cya peoples

well im sick and sitting here listening to japanese music while eating noodles in a cup Life is kinda sucky Had the worst day on friday A girl told me that if she every got as fat as me shed kill herself Like dude i already know im fat, i dont need you to tell me I kinda wish people werent so superficial but then again im superficial so theres no point in me saying that I wish i could do something for the world besides die.. xD On another note, ive almost beaten kingdom hearts .< I also hate getting called emo, i mean its not my fault im pale I have brown hair goddamnit >< urrrggggh Hm im done ranting ..

Urgh So i moved to mount isa and have been at schol for a week One disadvantage of being really tall is that all the cute guys are shorter than you ;_; i think science needs to make a cosemtic srgery where they make you shorter Oh well, the grass is always greener This new school is feral, you can swear at/to teachers the teachers critisize teh curiculum and then start swearing to the class about it chew gumm in class, you can have as many earrings & facial piecrings you want, theres even a few dudes who have a beard Not yet sold on the facial hair XP oh and your streches can be up to...24 i think ? But the people here, no sense of good music they all listen to country *air retches* or rap/hip hop/urban/rnb *retches again* And then there are the "wannabe-rebels" who think that there are people in mcr called gerald and freddie >.> Anyways on free dress day i like wore a skinny hoodie black cropped pants and a red/pink tank top and got callled emo Also, on the same day a rumour got spread that i cut my wrists, how does teh rumour spreader know this, and i quote "Look at her clothes lyk she must cut her wrists" *rolls eyes* Hm but i cant complain, there are some really nice people here, and a few hot guys, unfortunately every acceptable guy is shorter than me WHY MUST I BE TALLL *emo moment* Urgh its so annoying I realised the other day that im a bitch, like not just mean but like a reallysuper nasty bitch Eg"When i see a girl who is fatter or ugklier than me ill be like *BOOYAH*" and if i see a really pretty or skinny girl ill be liek *URGH DIIIIE *FLYING TACKLE OF DEATH** But seriously thinking about myself, im a really spoiled brat Like i have a house food clean water a toilet and shower my parents are still together and love me & my brothers But i still always want something or complain about something Im so stupid, like even sometimes ill dumb myself down to seem cool or so people wont percieve me as a nerd, i wont wear my reading glasses so people wont think im geeky And i wont wear the outfits i want to so people wont think im weird It just eats me up in side, and i regret things and i care how i look, im not tough im not smart and im not pretty im just mediocre at everything and like theres all these people who have done things for theyre future and here i am wasting my time, whatll happen once i leave school ? I have so many plans for the future but i need money and i dont even know what i wanna be and even if i do get set on something theres so may obsticles in the way, and by complaining about the obsticles im perceieved as lazy which is stupid because i was complaining up there about complaining urgh its all just too much to think about >.< Im out Bronte