Tomorrow I have my Mainz audition. I've spent 9 hours practicing today but the pressure is killing me, if I fuck up I'll have to wait another entire year just for another audition. But we'll see how that works out. Music is such a personal thing, even though the sound may be the same everyone experiences something different when they listen to a song or composition. I feel pity for this generation, and my generation, who seem to be so restrained by the mainstream interpretation of music. I wish I could open their perspective on sound like others have done for me, but too often their ears are closed to anything different or experimental. It's strange when you look at how mainstream music has changed over the years, back in the 80s whether you looked hot or badass or whatever really didn't mean fuck all, look at David Bowie for example, the guy looked like a clown on too much speed but man could he sing. I've lost my train of thought. Again. I'll continue tomorrow I guess

I've come to the conclusion that Bob Marley is my hero. I got bored waiting for the rest of the band so I'm kinda doing a solo project atm called Runaway, which is fun. I've just finished the vocals (ha funny cos I can't sing :p), which were the last piece to the puzzle (besides getting the music played with actual instruments, I can make do with the RSE (Realistic Sound Engine) I'm using atm though so meh). I was supposed to drop in my application for Mainz like 3 weeks ago but I need a recording to go with it, which I can't do while the rest of the crew is on holiday =.=. As with the band, we never ended up using the singer from uni, so we're kind of in the same pit as last time EXCEPT we have an awesome new guitarist (that's 2 guitar prodigy's now :D), and a gig we're supposed to be performing in in a few months time. So hopefully that'l inspire and motivate the crew, but I wouldn't count on it :s. Still it's fun to jam and keep my drumming up to par. New song to download: Age of Shadows - Ayreon, this song has one of the most epic choruses I've ever heard, download and be merry! Speaking of being merry, we invented this awesome drinking game at Paihia (where I went for New Years, hurrah for a thousand or 3 drunk people for 4/5 nights) called Drink and Be Merry: if you're not looking merry you have to drink. ;D Work is still kicking along as usual, I kind of just stay up till like 4am and coma out at work thesedays which suits me fine. Relationships... I'm confused. I swear my brain wants me to be a hermit or something, wait a few more weeks till everything is sorted and all that. But I know if I waste a few more weeks she might be gone. Ok so yeah, that's life. "To be human is to have the freedom to control one's fate"