Tomorrow I have my Mainz audition. I've spent 9 hours practicing today but the pressure is killing me, if I fuck up I'll have to wait another entire year just for another audition. But we'll see how that works out. Music is such a personal thing, even though the sound may be the same everyone experiences something different when they listen to a song or composition. I feel pity for this generation, and my generation, who seem to be so restrained by the mainstream interpretation of music. I wish I could open their perspective on sound like others have done for me, but too often their ears are closed to anything different or experimental. It's strange when you look at how mainstream music has changed over the years, back in the 80s whether you looked hot or badass or whatever really didn't mean fuck all, look at David Bowie for example, the guy looked like a clown on too much speed but man could he sing. I've lost my train of thought. Again. I'll continue tomorrow I guess

I've come to the conclusion that Bob Marley is my hero. I got bored waiting for the rest of the band so I'm kinda doing a solo project atm called Runaway, which is fun. I've just finished the vocals (ha funny cos I can't sing :p), which were the last piece to the puzzle (besides getting the music played with actual instruments, I can make do with the RSE (Realistic Sound Engine) I'm using atm though so meh). I was supposed to drop in my application for Mainz like 3 weeks ago but I need a recording to go with it, which I can't do while the rest of the crew is on holiday =.=. As with the band, we never ended up using the singer from uni, so we're kind of in the same pit as last time EXCEPT we have an awesome new guitarist (that's 2 guitar prodigy's now :D), and a gig we're supposed to be performing in in a few months time. So hopefully that'l inspire and motivate the crew, but I wouldn't count on it :s. Still it's fun to jam and keep my drumming up to par. New song to download: Age of Shadows - Ayreon, this song has one of the most epic choruses I've ever heard, download and be merry! Speaking of being merry, we invented this awesome drinking game at Paihia (where I went for New Years, hurrah for a thousand or 3 drunk people for 4/5 nights) called Drink and Be Merry: if you're not looking merry you have to drink. ;D Work is still kicking along as usual, I kind of just stay up till like 4am and coma out at work thesedays which suits me fine. Relationships... I'm confused. I swear my brain wants me to be a hermit or something, wait a few more weeks till everything is sorted and all that. But I know if I waste a few more weeks she might be gone. Ok so yeah, that's life. "To be human is to have the freedom to control one's fate"

So yeah it's been almost a year. Musicwise I've 'upgraded' to a Roland TD3 E-Kit, which lets me practice alot more as no pissed off neighbours comin' and bugging me to shut up. Virulent almost died, we went In Hiatus for almost half a year as lack of enthusiasm from some members and no singer. But I've found a singer from my University so HOPEFULLY it's all going to be straight to the top of the industry from here. Just give us a few months :p lawl. Only working weekends atm to pay for gas to uni and back. Except it's not enough cos I keep wasting money on booze :D:D. Works cool now though, they fired all the useless people and annoying people. Uni is, well it's cool, meeting lots of cool people and having some good experiences, I just don't think that physical education is for me. So as of yesterday I've decided to drop out and go to MAINZ instead, which is a music university, to work on my contemporary music certificate. Relationshipwise life is blah as usual. Never saw the girl from work again. The girl I, er, mentioned before cut me out of her life until a few weeks ago over some stupid thing. We're 'friends' again now which is good, but I doubt I'll ever try taking it further if she's going to tear me up everytime we have an argument. I should stop complaining though, everyone goes through crap relationships so blah. Is it too much to ask for a Josie? Bah and my brother's girlfriend is a druggie. Great. I hope he doesn't lose custody of Max :s He's pretty much the only good thing that's ever happened to him. And my mates dad just died a few nights ago. LIFE IS CRUEL. But we've gotta march on and keep the flame alive. Let music be our guide. Download Out of Time by The Bleeders and Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi =] I love music.

Musicwise, life is great. I've just upgraded my drumkit; a bunch of boom stands and a new splash cymbal. It's got the most fucked up sound to it, but it's pretty cool and it's real helpful when changing time signatures cos it's got a really distinctive sound to help me >:D Plus I think the bands finally about to kick into action, and I mean real action. We're considering dropping half the band and starting afresh with just me and the guitarists, mainly because the other members create too much off a hassle when it comes to practicing. I doubt anyone reading this has ever heard of us but that's okay, you'll hear from Virulent sooner or later >:D Workwise life's alright. I'm pissed at my uncle cos it's being a hypocritical bitch. He complains about noone doing any work when all he does is fix chainsaws (easy but take like an hour) and sweep the workshop, meanwhile everyone else is working their fuckin guts out trying to keep up with all the equipment coming in. But myeh, paid holiday soon >:D which is gonna be hot. Relationshipwise life is blah. The girl I've really got a thing for is addicted to some chump who's too much of an idiot to realise. But I guess that's okay, eitherway one of us is gonna get over the crush in due time. I did however, meet some crazy girl at work though. She was good looking and funny and nice and all that jazz, I think she had ADHD too, which would probly make life interesting. But I dunno, she's coming in tomorrow might talk and stuff. BDO soon ^_^ I'm so excited, even if 99% of the bands this time suck it's still wicked fun. Peace out.