Schmeh, I'm amazed at the things that can change in a years time. Married my boyfriend of three years, and we've already been separated for nine months. We got married December of 2008 and split three days before Christmas Eve December 2009. It's all too true what they say about the straw that broke the camels back, things just piled on so heavily that at least I know I lost it, and got to the point where I was intentionally looking for a fight. I got fired from my job, [ I have this fantastic habit of being late ] and started working at Hell On Earth Inc., Tye lost his job [ fabulous economy] and was unemployed for about six months, and the stress continues from there, so I mentioned that I thought I wanted a divorce, we started growing apart and then he moved home three days before Christmas Eve. Since the split we have maintained good contact, and now we're trying to reconcile again. I don't know what happened, but one day I was thinking about how amazing I used to have it. I came home to someone who was happy to see me, I was able to be myself around him, weather that means no shower for a few days because I have no obligations, a blubbering mess because I'm upset, or a complete dork who has had a bit too much wine. He loves me for who I am, forgives my faults, and only wants me to be happy. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD THROW THAT AWAY. Anywho, I mentioned this to him, and since then, we've been talking about what we need to do to make it work, because yes, I do realize that this optimistic point of view will not be in the front of my brain all the time and we did have some real issues. He wants me to move to where he is working, and at this point, I am willing to do what it takes to make things work; plus a change of scenery, [ even though its going from a small town, to a smaller town ] would be fan-tas-tic-al. I feel right now as if I am a wrecking ball that is strung by one tiny link of chain. My mother found out Tuesday of this week that my father has been having an emotional affair with a longtime friend of our family, so since this discovery, he has been living in the shop below me, although I haven't seen him in a few days, not entirely sure of his whereabouts. I have begun to hate my job with every bone in my body - and lately I have just wanted to come home ,crawl up in a little ball in my bed, and just sob for a few hours. I have so many things building up in my body that my stomach is in a constant state of knots, every time I take a drag of my cigarette I want to puke... which is bad, because my cigarettes replenish the sanity I so dearly cherish. I think that moving to the middle of nowhere with Tye will be a blessing for me, I can put my all into my Graphic Design degree, and my marriage, and not have to worry about anybody else's shit. I surprised myself when I spoke to my mother about what was going on with my dad. Normally I am the FIRST to jump on the bandwagon of making it my problem, and stressing myself to fix it. When I found out through my sister, yes, I was in utter shock, my dad just doesn't seem like the 'affair kinda guy' so I was pretty numb to the situation. I spoke with my mom that evening, and said that yes, I was upset, but to be honest, I have my own things to sort out, I wanted to focus on my school, job, and marriage, so I didn't care all too much, and I was just going to let her work on things herself. Of course I will be there if she needs to talk with someone, but my mom is an adult, and she knows what she is doing. Totally out of my character, but it felt good to say. Anyway, its 437am and I still have half a glass of wine to finish and sheets to place on the bed.