i saw the fucker. sitting in a brand new black audi. we were facing each other at a stoplight, me on my way to work, and the piece of shit, less than 500 feet away from me, sitting in his fucking car, with his girlfriend, with a shit eating expression. what kind of justice system do we have anyway? last i checked, house arrest did NOT involve driving your audi with your girlfriend, did NOT involve having a job, playing frisbee in the park, spinning doughnuts in the parking lot, last i understood it involved being at your house 24/7. apparently, the justice system reads an entirely different dictionary than the other billions of people living in the united states. so with my latest encounter with this piece of shit, dozens of images of me, running to his window to punch him in the face, ramming my car into his hoping to break a few appendages, kicking his ass on the concret, etc. caused quite a bit of an adrenaline rush, but then the light turned green, and instead i light a cigarette and drove the few blocks to work trying to calm myself down. his time is coming soon; he may think its all a big joke [ let me clue you into how big of a dumbass this guy is, he sold his most prized posession, probably amounting to 10,000 dollars or so, to try and drain our family of all their money, all this to attempt to drag out the court system, when in reality, my family is not paying for the county attorney, and he will have to refund us for all the medical bills and whatnot that have been the result of his action a little under a year ago. ] december 20th is the court hearing, and hopefully the mother fucker will spend a few months in the county jail. i wish there was some kind of sentence where i was allowed to sit in front of him and just yell until my face is blue. really that would be the most satisfying thing for me. i know it wouldn't do him any good, but its kind of the equivalent of kicking your tire when its flat. it doesn't get any air back into it, but it sure relieves a lot of frustration. im somewhat tired of being the "bigger" person after seeing and knowing that he continues to be the adolescent he is, and think the world was built for him to play with. honestly i can not remember the last time being the adult has really paid off. although this is neither here nor there, just an afterthought. anyway. counselor tomorrow, hopefully ill have an opportunity to vent a little bit. at the moment i say fuck being productive, im pissed off, heres my story, shuttup and listen.

reading my last journal entries from almost half a year ago really makes me appreciate my current life, even though it doesnt make me completely satisfied for the moment. miracles do happen aparently. Tye and I do live together, he moved up here with me in Kalispell. i ended up moving back home after school got out, and finally we decided it was move forward or part our ways, and he decided that he did love me, was able to tell me to my face, and things have been awesome ever since. we are both content in our apartment with our low paying jobs, for now. im working full time at a local bank and tye is still installing appliances. my summer went well, i worked for dad until september and made some decent money, and tye moved up here in july. we're both hoping to leave montana in a few years because i would eventually like to go back to school but first i need to discover what fuels the fire inside instead of just going to school to meet everyone else's expectations. i am taking depression medication to calm all those thoughts ive had for the last few months. my mother forced me to see a doctor and he rated me an 8 on a scale of 1-10. i sat in the chair, he said hello, and i started bawling. it was awful. the entire family is seeing a counselor as well. things really have improved since bozeman. other than that, not much else has changed, but everything that has, in retrospect to the previous 6months of my life, has been much better. hopefully things just keep going on the up and up.