“How did she look?” Ramone groaned as he peeked out of his shell of blankets. 

“Good. You know she always does. Don’t know why you keep asking,” I sighed. It was hard to stay sympathetic after three months of answering the same question everyday. 

“Because maybe one day she’ll look as ugly as she is inside!” He exclaimed with melodramatic anguish.

“Listen, dude. I love you. We all do. But you can’t keep hiding from her and Ricky. She chose him and she let you down easy.” I tried my best to be as kind as possible as I massaged my temple in an attempt to repress my irritation.

“She is a cold, heartless... she-devil! A creature of darkness and despair! Why am I the only one who sees that!?” He cried out in his whiny, juvenile way.

“Yes, I know. It hurts when the people we love don’t love us back. But it’s been three months, Ramone. It’s time to come back to work, or at least find another job. They’re not going to let you stay home for much longer.” I sat down beside him and patted his head in what I hoped was a soothing manner.

“I’m going to stay here and die alone, like all of us do in the end anyway!” As he sobbed, the mountain of blankets shuddered and torn up candy wrappers fell on my lap. I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up and ripped away the blankets, revealing a pale, shaking chest and stained sweatpants.

“Ramone. This is it. Get in the shower. Get changed. We’re going to the park for some fresh air.” I said as sternly as I could manage. He didn’t say anything in response, but he stood up weakly and ambled to the washroom.

I surveyed the apartment of my emotionally devastated friend, and decided to start with the overflowing trash can.

I draw marigolds

And let them curve

Between the folds

Watch the rooms in a city

Dressed up in finery

Always dark

Or always curtained

Let me peek between the times

The good the glad and the lost souls

Listen to your laugh

And let it explode

Tiny knives that disappear

Marking the soul beneath the skin

Listening in

Living in the present

Dragging out the peasants 

Listening to your smile

As I rip my heart from my throat

And force it into your eye socket

So you can see the damage 

You did to me

I could break into your old house and smash your dads shit

I could send all the chicks you like pictures of your diseased dick

But all I do is try to be present and good and kind

As I try to swallow down the fact that you’ll never be mine

I don’t know how to let people go

 But I swear I’m learning

One day at a time

I need some new friends

And I promise to make the time

You couldn’t handle my worst

But neither could I 

I needed you to make my heart work

And now my life is a faint squiggly line

I know you’re happy in that big city you moved to

I just hope you remember the girl who used to sing to you

And never wore make up

Because she didn’t care what she looked like

When she thought she was already loved

The girl who wore the same 2 pairs of tights

And never wore a bra

And smoked too much weed

And too many cigarettes

Her car was full of trash and still is

And she was always late

But she brought you flowers every week

And always sucked your dick

But I guess I didn’t care who you were

And I guess you didn’t either

And now you’re a big shot lawyer in a big city with a fat bank account

And I guess I don’t fit into that

And I’m trying to move on

But the betrayal weighs heavily on my heart

And I don’t have anyone I can talk to

 

We’re just a buncha cells fuckin anyway

Why the fuck you gotta call me bae

  

If I had your baby in a toilet

I’d flush