it continues on in my head. i cover my ears and bury my face in my knees. i just need to wait for it to pass. the feelings burst up and submerge me, long enough that i worry if they'll consume me

but i always come up with my lungs burning, smoke coming out of my nostrils, and red eyes drooped low

some days it's just about coming up for air.

i've been playing fire emblem on my 3ds and the characters in the game are telling me to go to bed. i bought the 3ds in october because i wanted to play the new pokemon and it's a pretty nifty machine. i just like it because i love nintendo games. i receive a great sense of validation from these relatively easy games.

some days i want more friends and some days i never want to leave my house so people won't think things about me. i suppose i need to stop trying to turn sand to gold and let the useless grains fall thru my fingers. alright, well, goodbye