i just want to write about sad things that i can't talk to anyone about. "pain is temporary" is what i keep telling myself. it's a big scary world out there and i feel like it's going spit me out. it's been a horrible and a beautiful day. trilliums and waterfalls and green-as-green-milk trees. but also pain, like a sharp afterthought.

i'm swirling together stars with my eyes like saucers and trying to lose myself in rap music that shines vacantly. all is not well, not yet.

but i am resolute and i won't let you see me like this.

i'll walk tall and i won't look back.