i wish i had someone to kiss during red lights; someone who would automatically get shotgun. i've got green eyes now and i mean literally. i drove pretty much all day today. it was pretty fun having my car finally. it's a beast of a car. i feel out of place driving it, but it feels great being able to say that my first car is a charger. i love the damn thing. it's kind of tough to drive, though, because of its size. ah, well. i'll get used to it. i'm pretty tired now. i'll probably read a little bit of ham on rye and pass out. i hope i dream of someone to drive forever with. i love my friends a lot and it's amazing driving with them everywhere. but, you know, it would be pretty great to kiss someone in that car. like, really kiss somebody. man, i'd love to dream of that.

strength is relative, you jerk. we're all doomed and we waste time hating things because love is hard. my eyes are slinking down my face and my mouth is upside down. i feel like i'm being swallowed into a sad, sad void. i think tomorrow will be better though.

It's a rough time. It's spearing tiny moments of comfort to keep myself warm. It's the heavy cloud of inevitability that ruins my disposition. It's difficult to hide from and my brain is crumbling from the stress. It's a terrible throbbing that simply crushes everything. It's a whole, fucking lot of things that I can't talk about because you can't feel it like I do. It's not being able to call anyone "baby" or "darling". It's a dismal sort of aloneness that I can't write about. It's a vacancy in eyes from dreams about escapism. It's like shaking under cumulus sheets, in ruins. It's almost equivalent to the tiny pinprick of hope.