okay, so. he just ripped my heart out. threw it on the ground. shot it eight times. threw the pieces in the garbage can. pissed on the garbage can. set the garbage can on fire. and then rolled the garbage can into an ocean of lava, which caused my world to explode. i thought i was going to marry him! he said that he had been in love with me for three years! he said he was going to love me forever and ever and GOD I'M SUCH AN IDIOT. i'm going to be fucked up for a very, very, very long time. but, i knew it was going to end this way. i tried to ignore it, but i always knew. i am in so much emotional pain, honestly. i don't know where i'm going now, but i think i'll fly solo for a while. i mean, really. my heart is currently broken, shot, in a garbage can, covered in piss, on fire, while simmering in an ocean of lava. fuck, that hurts. FUCK. it will take me quite a while to get better.

i am the dog that has been kicked too many times. i am the dog that cries when you leave. i am the dog that everyone tricks. my heart pumps liquid fire, and all i can do is wince. people say, "what a beautiful mutt! what a gorgeous stray!" but they never take me in. i am always staring sadly into the warmly-lit houses when it rains. it is true that you never kicked me- oh, no, you neglect me. you disappear so easily. oh, how i howl when you're gone. and when you come back, you sigh (like falling rain) and chastise me for being so weak. but how could i not be weak with bruised ribs and a singed heart? i look up at the stars, and i look up for you. your silence- it breaks me. i thought you were going to save me. you said you would and, as dumbs dogs go, i am the most naive. i pray to the stars, the clocks, the maps, and the drinks. i don't think God pays attention to this lame mutt's wishes though. i sometimes worry that He doesn't pay attention to anything at all. i'm scared that believing in Him is just like believing in you. luckily, this idiotic dog's heart is blind.