RosesAtSunset's Journal

  • 4 Entries
  • Archives for April 2010

  • even fairytale characters would [have been] jealous

    by RosesAtSunset on April 28, 2010

    the world is a jumble of infinity. my head is about to split in two from the lack of comprehension. my duality as a person and as a star sign is really messing me up. even my yogourt had two sides to it! strawberry is to vanilla as good is to evil? yeah, i know. vanilla is not very fierce and strawberry is not that grand. i am just deflecting though. i hope you know that i am not as devoted to yogourt as i appear to be. i am not sure what to be devoted to, actually. los campesinos! has this one song that goes, "i'm so sorry to have put you through a lifetime of dedications that you never desired." and honestly, i don't know who the hell you are. i suppose that the opinions you are forming while reading this are just collateral. i don't understand how people can become so essential to one another. i know all about taming and such in a "le petit prince" sense, but why? i mean to say, why are people so influential to each other? holy shit, why the hell are you so fucking important? in conclusion, i am so sick of wanting what i cannot have that i am willing to accept having what i do not want. 

    No Comments

  • weary

    by RosesAtSunset on April 18, 2010
    i used to be nomadic, but i've been here for so long. i thought that staying for people would ensure my stability. however, if you don't leave, they do. it's almost agony when somebody leaves you. when you leave, there is an empty space where that person once resided. when you get left, there is a blast of a bomb and they disappear. however, salvation always arrives in the strangest of ways. when you're on the tiled floor, somebody will come over and hold your hair back while you get sick. when you're on the brink, somebody will grab your hand and their palms will be soft. my heart feels like the moon. i've been losing touch with people. they probably think i hate them or something. i don't. i'm stretched thin and spaced out. i just gotta cement over these craters with indifference.
    No Comments

  • lost: infinite/ found: 0

    by RosesAtSunset on April 15, 2010
    i haven't seen orion's belt in a while. then again, i haven't really looked. i don't deserve my friends. i wish i could give my opportunities to some kid with the potential to be a revolutionary. i'm just a lost cause. i don't want to be anywhere anymore. i sleep less and less everyday. i don't eat regularly. i'm losing my thought process again. i got a shade better and then a lot worse. i'm waking up places and pretending that i was there all along. this isn't fight club. this is club hell. it's better this way. if people don't care about you, you can get away with anything. i'm so calloused at the heart, but i still somehow felt that. i've crawled home from worse than this, but my palms are starting to break on the pavement. i need to calm down. i need to take things less seriously. this won't mean a thing come tomorrow, and that's exactly how i'll make it feel.
    No Comments

  • expectations vs. reality

    by RosesAtSunset on April 10, 2010
    the same chords are still struck the same way after so many years. what is time but an excuse to forget? fuck my past. i just want to kiss you. sorry, no. i'd like to correct that. i want to kiss you and i want it to mean something. wait, change that too. i'm not sure of what i want but i know that you look kind of like it. actually, let's go back to how it started. i just want to kiss you.
    No Comments