I understand what the fox meant now. Here, I will type up a passage from the book, "Le petit prince" by Antoine de Saint Exupéry. I’ll type it up in English though. I have the Harbrace Paperbound Library and Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc. edition. It was published in New York. The passage is on page 80, if you have it. --- "No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean- 'tame'?" "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties." “‘To establish ties'?" "Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need for you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…” --- It explains the way that a friend can feel like home, the way your heart leaps when the person you love smiles, and the way your bones relax at the sight of someone who has tamed you. Your bones steel over as you brace yourself when you meet someone new or someone who is nothing more than a person like a hundred thousand other people. It’s all about making and breaking connections. coz baby you’re not alone coz you’re here with and nothing’s ever gonna bring us down coz nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it’s true it don’t matter what’ll come to be coz our love is all we need to make it through I am dragging myself away and breaking my nails as they scratch along the concrete. I have a lot of friends and pretty clothes and an aptitude for making people fall in love with me. However, you have tamed me and to me, you are unique in all the world.

today, in my introduction to anthropology, psychology, and sociology class, we learned about david cash. in 1998, he stood by as his best friend raped and killed a seven-year-old girl. he was not charged since he didn't actually participate in any of those acts. his friend is going to be in jail for the rest of his life, as he should be. we were discussing the bystander effect. it was a pretty boring discussion though. the teacher kept calling on the ditzes that think very highly of themselves and it was just them stating the obvious peppered with "oh my god, like, you know! seriously, oh my god!" i know i'm not a genius, but i'm definitely not that idiotic. i think that the friendship between them was what kept Cash from doing anything. especially since it was extremely out of character for his friend. i'm definitely not saying that what he did was right. it's horrifying to think that a person could just stand by and let that happen. even worse, afterward he went on a radio show and said the most horrible things. he said that he believed he'd done the right thing. i think there's only one friend that could push me to that. i know it's horrible, but that's humanity for you.

exhaustion is a wonderful kind of medicine. it also tastes much better than time. i've decided that i'm going to write in a real journal. i need something tangible. i'm going to try to stick to writing only my impersonal discoveries here. i want to be the only one to digest my weak words because they are perfect for my weak stomach. and my handwriting is hell so it's a perfect front. if you'd like to converse, my email is a few entries below. if you're planning on messaging me here, please put a subject line! otherwise, the message doesn't get sent. also, no matter what happens, beyonce will always be awesome.