perspective usually hides where my eyes are facing when they're rolled back. we're all cooing at how cute it is to be young while swooning over how cool it is to be old. i'm no different, really. i eat reese puffs for breakfast and i read the cereal box every damn time. then i drink bitter coffee and i read poetry. a happy(?) medium would be reese puffs in coffee with poetry glued onto the cereal box. shit, i'll try that sometime. but i'm still drinking make-believe tea with peter pan and i really don't want to let go of that. i have my entire life to fuck it up. i'm going to see Hamlet 2 tomorrow. it wasn't planned like a, "think you can manage to swing this?" well, more like a, "we're watching this." because i'm the patron saint of last minute changes of plans. i'm real nice most of the time, but totally two-faced all the time. i blame highschool more than i blame you. even though it was you who proved me right. thus shifting the axis on which my head was tilted, and thus lending me a sharp dose of perspective. thanks.

gold medal soccer goalie. and we won in a shoot-out too, hot damn. it was purely an underdog story, 99% luck and 99% chance that i love you. last year i screwed us all over by sleeping in and we got eliminated right away. thank you restitution, my head can lie down. no more sleeping pills and no more sleepless nights. i'm starting to think i'm a little too sensitive and obnoxious. today was our final game and we were so laid back that they actually made me play as a forward. i didn't score any goals but you know, 'first time ever' is a pretty good excuse i think. oh, and for some reason everytime the other team tried to score, they missed. one time, it actually hit the top bar and bounced off. i was laughing hysterically because these things shouldn't happen but god do i love it when they do. improv camp was crazy fun. hard with a brknhrt but whatever, i'm too solidified to wonder much. still do a little, hell, it's impossible not to. now i'm doing an arts camp and i'm terrible at art but today was fun. we made buttons and i got some used clothes for reasons i really don't understand but cool! yesterday was crap- we made felt mittens. honestly, it's summer and who wears mittens anyhow? i mean, except kindergarteners but they can get away with pretty much anything. my friend slept over for a few days and she's sleeping over again tomorrow. it's a little funny because we're constantly annoying the hell out of each other. i feel good and it's nice. thnks fr bein thr. nd f yu wrnt, i 4gv yu bcz noon els evr did.

man, oh man. you have to see the cloudy sky through polaroid sunglasses. the kind that you can't tell if you look good in or not because they're too fucking dark to be able to see your reflection. anyways, the parts of blue you see through the openings in the clouds are a deep, rich blue. and it's as if heaven is flashing her wrists at you, like a geisha, you know. i have a headache to own all headaches. i love improv camp. it's amazing and my heart's a little woah because it gets like that when i'm around overly flirty people. but i don't want that, really. but yr head's so warm on my shoulder, and i hope my bones aren't hurting your head. coz mine's the only one allowed to have that. nevermind. landlocked blues. it really doesn't mean much to me, but it's so nice and it's anti-whatever.

i'm desperate, but not really because i don't really have any needs that can't just be considered wants. i'm so so so sad right now but i can't tell anyone about it. just can't put myself out there anymore, but i don't have a choice. i have people who have expectations of me, but they don't really need me there. and it's hot as hell here, but i'm so cold. i asked st. anne for hope, warmth and comfort when i already had them all. so they got taken away. some things are better left unknown. i KNEW you didn't care. i just KNEW. but you didn't need to be a jerk about it, okay? this honestly doesn't matter because i'll be okay tomorrow. 'here vs. now' was never my style anyway. I DONT EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. please?