you know those moments where you feel so alive and you have no fear, and you're just so thankful to be here, breathing air, and for all the people and things in your life? that's how i feel right now. i had a wonderful day with some family and friends and it all just made me see how far i've come, how much i've grown, and the awesome future i have ahead of me. i'm so motivated just to keep up all my hard work and not give up on my dreams. i've been through a lot of hard times, but each thing i've been through, i came out on the other side just a little bit stronger. i'm ready. i want to experience this wonderful chance God gives us called life and use it to my advantage. i'm done with the past, because it's gone and you can't change it. from now on, i'm just going to focus on the here-and-now, and enjoy it all.

well, i'm back. i always come back here and write. i can't tell you how many times i've erased and restarted this journal since i started way back in 2007, or was it 2006? anyways it doesn't matter. my life has changed so much from what i thought back in all these different stages of being a teenager. it's so funny to read some of the things i read because it's so un-me. but, at the same time, some of the things i used to write were beautiful. i respect who and what i used to be, i just thank God that he brought me to who i am today. i won't say "back" to who i am today, because i'm not who i was before, at any point. i'm new. yes, i'm still the same person, some of the same likes and dislikes and habits... but i've grown too far to be the same. i've grown too far to ever go back. only forward. life is good. i just broke up with my boyfriend of one month who, while he's a good friend, i never really liked "like that." it feels weird. i work at an episcopal church in the nursery. i'm going to the local community college in the fall and majoring in social work. i wanna be a counselor. :) i still live at home. i drive, the car that my mom bought for her, but she gave it to me. i love her so much! mom is still my favorite person in the world, but me and my dad and my brothers are way closer than we used to be. jordan is out of my life, after many mistakes concerning him. no details there. sarah and candace are my best friends now, but i'm freer than with jordan. not tied down. i have lots of other friends and no one makes me feel like they own me. but yeah, there's a lot more, and my new story is just beginning. i'll write when i can. maybe even get back in to the poetic-type stuff. we'll see. i could never imagine going back to all that.