It'll be one year tomorrow - but really tonight. I miss my brother. It's hard when others don't understand. It's about that time. I can't help but relive it --- even when I'm not trying to think about it.

I haven't begun a journal until now. Someone here recommended that if I want to share my thoughts and how I feel that I just begin a journal...so here I am. I have been trying hard to get through these past few days. They've been pretty difficult for me due to my busy schedule and all that goes on in life. I am married and have 4 children, along with having my job as a teacher, and going to school. Life can be tough sometimes. It's been almost 1 full year since I lost my brother. The pain of that doesn't go away. It's really hard for me. I've come and shared several times on this site...maybe I needed to vent and was hoping to find someone who cared and would give me sympathy. Fat chance. Instead, I bumped into some people who said some really hurtful things and left me wanting to cry. Hard to believe how some people really don't want to care or just say nasty things when someone's hurting. Maybe they just don't understand what it's like to lose someone. So, I have my faith in God and that's where the true problems really began. I shared who He was in my life in "general discussion" and how some SONGS affected my life and my perception of things, figuring this is a "song meanings" site and it would be okay to do it. Wrong. People were fuming and upset that I wasn't "respecting THEIR beliefs" when really, all I was doing was sharing my own. So, in short, some songs have really touched me. Most by Casting Crowns. "Here I Go Again," "I'll Praise You in the Storm," and "Does Anybody Hear Her?" are some of them...just to name a few. Anyway, I guess this will be the beginning of my journal. It's mine so it shouldn't offend anyone. I'm not forcing my beliefs down anyone's throat, I'm just venting and sharing how I feel. I think that will be okay. We will see.