Before leaving for church this morning - they are having Vacation Bible School and I am doing Arts & Crafts - I spent some time in prayer. This was the verse I came upon in my daily devotional: The LORD himself will go before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forget you. (Deuteronomy 31:8) I share this moment, only because this verse rang so true to me and my day with the kids. I love teaching, and although everyday I teach I have butterflies, I still love it. During my butterfly moments this morning, I "happened" upon this verse and it reminded me that if I put Him first, He will be with me all the way - leading me, with me, never leaving or forgetting me. What peace this gave me. Anyway, my day with the kids went very well and they enjoyed making fish. They all did a fabulous job and really seemed to have a great time. God is good.

What an awesome statement! I just had to copy it into my journal...Thanks, mitsukai_zero! "by mitsukai_zero on 10-29-2007 @ 04:32:47 AM To sheer, if what you say is true, then eventually all of humanity will fall to pieces, the sun will die, all life as we know it in our solar system will come to an end, and maybe eventually, the hopeless cycle will begin again. But even then, every word that has ever been spoken, every idea ever brought to light, and every moral thread ever followed will cease to hold any significance. But if what we believe is true, then just as Romans 14:11 says, "'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'Every knee will bow before me, every tongue will confess to God.'" None of your logic could remove me from the faith I have in my God, and I will stand with him leading me until the end."

I pray that I shall speak God's word into the hearts of people that do not know Him - and I pray that He show them who He is. I pray these things in Jesus' precious name, and I thank God for all that He has done for me. Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me... "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also." John 15: 18-20

I think that even though our loved ones love and care about us very much - there will still be moments in our lives, circumstances, things that happen --- that they will not have the answers to. There will be things that they can do nothing about. They can "comfort" us, but that will not always give us the peace and joy that we search for. I know me speaking about my brother will probably irritate some people here - but his life and his death, are the only thing I can think to use to explain what I mean by this... My brother and I were close. We shared memories and moments together that no one PERSON could ever give back to me and no one PERSON could ever understand completely. Losing him hurt me a lot and for a long time, I struggled day to day with wanting to go on. I had/have a wonderful husband, 4 great children who are beautiful gifts to me, and a job that I have worked hard to achieve. But when death comes in and steals your loved one from your life - you realize how insignificant some things in life can really be. And no one truly understands - unless they are IN your shoes...and even THEY will deal differently because THEY are not you. But God has a way of comforting you and giving you hope and peace through it all. He shows you that He is with you - and the promise of eternity for your loved one gives you truth hope and comfort. I KNOW that my brother is in a better place. Who here on earth, can do THAT for me? There are THINGS and CIRCUMSTANCES that people will go through, that no one can truly fill those gaps and empty places except God. He (God) made it that way. He wants to be a part of our lives...

"Death is only the cutting of a delicate flower that enables it to bloom anew in an eternal garden more beautiful and fragrant than earth's eye has ever beheld." I have copied this from the book titled "Jesus Wept". It is a beautiful book and has brought me much comfort - much like the piece I quoted above. I lost my brother over a year ago, and although the pain has subsided some, it never really goes away completely. I often think of memories, my brother's face, and the yearning to hold him and give him a big hug. I pray that he is smiling down on me right now, in peace, joy, and comfort --- all of the things he couldn't seem to grasp hold of while he was here. Our God is good and only does what is right. This is a scripture that many may question, but God has shown me through many of life's experiences how this is true. I don't understand all of the time - but He has shed light on some. I will never forget the day that as I was passing my computer (leaving the room), a picture on the computer struck me and I stopped in my tracks. It was a tree. Underneath the tree was this scripture. God is good and does what is right. My brother went to be with Jesus on the night of April 28, 2006. His car hit a tree and split in two. My brother's life here was difficult. He suffered from depression, bi-polar, and was a severe alcoholic. He was only 22 and could not stop drinking. Not a day went by that he didn't stop at the liquor store. But my brother had a good heart. He loved the Lord even though he could not understand His ways. He wanted to feel that peace in his life. Unfortunately, in my brother's life, Satan's voice and lies were too loud to hear His God who loved him. Our God took him home. In the arms of Jesus my brother is now. At peace. God is good and does what is right. I love you, Josh. I love you.

My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you (2 Cor 12:9)... There are certain mountains only God can climb... Mount Messiah is one mountain you weren't made to climb... When you face your own grave or your own guilt, YOUR power will not do the trick. It will not save you. Only Jesus will get you through it all.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Heb 11:1)... Your eyes see your faults. Your faith sees your Savior. Hope is the light you see at the end of a dark tunnel. Faith is how you get there. Your eyes look in the mirror and see a sinner, a failure, a promise-breaker. But by faith, you look in the mirror and see a robed prodigal bearing the ring of grace on your finger and the kiss of your Father on your face. Psalm 119:105 --- Your Word is like a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.

You know, this made me think. Moments. We all have them - when something touches our hearts or really makes us think. Josh, I miss you. Brandon had his first baseball practice, his first baseball game. You weren't there. Oh how it hurts. I love you and I miss you.

Kaitlynn sent a balloon up to you today, Josh. I know it probably didn't "make" it there. Chris said it probably popped. LOL. Just the thought though. We're thinkin' of you...

It'll be one year tomorrow - but really tonight. I miss my brother. It's hard when others don't understand. It's about that time. I can't help but relive it --- even when I'm not trying to think about it.