Alot has happened. Where to begin... So a couple weeks ago I started hearing things about him not caring about me anymore, him not wanting anything to do with me, and him not wanting to be with me. Plus he was really short with me, we barely talked and people would come up to ME and ask ME if he and kim were back together. So i texted him and told him obviously this isn't what you want so goodbye, thankyou for wasting my time. and he told me that I didn't try either. Which reallyyy pissed me off. Ever since B, i always try because I don't want to only have myself to blame when things go bad. So one thing led to another and he told me to grow up. So I called him an asshole. Things calmed down a bit after that and he told me that he still thought i ignored his texts and we agreed to hang out and talk about it. He came over that friday after the game and kissed me and told me he made up his mind, he wants to be with me, hes 110% sure and all this stuff so, big shocker, i fell for it. Last saturday a huge group of us went camping and we hung out there. And snuck off to the tent where we did stuff, or he did stuff, for awhile till kel walked in on us haha. And he told me he wanted me. I asked him mentally or physically and he said both. He told me he's so attracted to me. And we promised to always be honest with eachother and i asked him to let me know if he ever changes his mind about his decision. I'm so crazy about him it sucks. It sucks not having the upper hand, and knowing i'll never have it again. I am no longer in control. Later that night we passed out. And i think it was just me him and kel in the tent. In the middle of the night he randomly grabbed me and would cuddle me & then change positions and cuddle me a different way. & he'd stick his hands between my legs to warm his hands up and then i'd be awake. haha. The next day he gave me shit for smoking a prime time. One little one. He told me "i'm not mad, i just dont think a beautiful girl like you should ruin her cute healthy lungs like that" so i told him i wouldn't anymore. It kinda reminded me of the time he texted me randomly telling me never to get in the car with strangers and to call him if i everrr needed a ride cause he had heard about his sisters friend. So cute. When i'm in his arms, I have never felt safer in my whole life. When i'm in his arms, I feel like nothing can harm me. Not even him. I wish i had that feeling constantly like i used to. I'm still so scared hes gunna hurt me. My friend told me today that he was talking locker room smack again saying he didn't really wanna be with me and all this stuff. And i start thinking i can do this, i can be fine without him, i'll just confront him about it. I kinda freaked out. And then he texts me later saying hey gorgeous. Andddd we've gotten no where. I really hope its just that, locker room smack. Cause he's said stuff like that before and hasn't meant it. "My heart beats faster, I hear your name I feel my confidence slippin' away I thought I was doin' fine 'Bout to get you off my mind I see your face and then I'm Wrapped around your pretty little finger again It feels like ages since you laid down in my arms I see no good reason but still I'm tangled in your charms My God, you're smilin' and you catch my eye My heart is pounding deep inside I thought I was doin' fine 'Bout to get you off my mind I see your face and then I'm Wrapped around your pretty little finger again"