I have just found out that there is at least one person who is actually reading this thing. I honestly had no idea anyone would even bother. Then again, i dont think anyone does when they start this thing. So anyway, my one friend is a totally over dramatic, sometimes annoying as hell person who gets on ALL of our nerves. I have had TONS of stuff buzzing through my head and she was one of them, and i have like 20 emotions going if that many emotions exist. So finally, i snapped. Everything annoying she's ever done just built up along with all the stuff im thinking of and keeping to myself and i just reached boiling point. i told her off. I didnt curse or anything, she's way too sensitive for that. But i've been hard on her the last couple days like no one else had the courage to be. If she did something annoying or wouldn't stop bugging us i'd tell her to shut up, then she'd pull this fake crying routine that is so fcuked up(thats my form of sensoring on the computer) and we'd get even MORE pissed at her. She doesn't get it. The more she "cried" to get sympathy the more people she put on my side. My other 2 friends were super fed up with her, so when i told her off my one friend is sitting there like: "I love you. Thank god you did that!" Especially when she went on her crying storming raid and i didnt even waver. She just craves attention, and we couldnt put up with it. Today must've been her chance to try scoring some serious sympathy points in her mind though. here's how it went: Her: put the paper away, the teacher's cant see because the donations and gifts for them after the play are a surprise. Me: Okay, but i doubt they can read it from here. She then folds the paper like 4 times, unzips the small portion of my backpack, and just puts it right in there. Her: I just wanna make sure they dont see. Me: Okay, but i'd appreciate it if you didnt go into my backpack and out things away without asking me. (i basically didnt breathe in that sentence, i was a little worked up. I dont like people going through my stuff unless they tell me theyre going to) Her: Okaaaaaay!!! *whiny voice* Me: Thank you. She then proceeds to go to our friends and ask why i was being so mean lately and why i kept shouting at her. Everyone i talked to said the same thing: I never shouted at her. I didnt even raise my voice. I would simply speak what i thought. She kept asking and would call me "mean" and "snotty". yea, whatever. My other friend, the one who also is getting annoyed, said for her to just drop it and that she didnt want to talk about it, that it was no big deal. But she could not leave well enough alone. So my friend she just talked to comes over to us and relays everything back to me, which i already knew most of what happened because i know this girl all too well. She is then attempting to preach to my other friend about the same problem, and i know she is. so i tell her. Me: Just quit bugging people. I know youre trying to find out why i told you to get out of my stuff and why im a little mad at you. Just give it up. Her: "Fine." *whiny voice again* She then goes off for a sec and comes back throwing herself at the bleachers in the gym to create a dramatic sob. My friends and i roll our eyes. We know this routine, it either creates guilt or gets sympathy. neither works on us. I simply turn toward her. Me: That is the worst fake crying i've ever heard. Her: Shut up. I fcuking hate you. (she's a total goody-goody who says junk like "fudge" and "darn it!") she then dashes to the girl's bathroom to make it even MORE fcuking dramatic. I then have every one of our friends and people in the grade plus their uncle coming over to where our group of close friends is talking about the situation. One girl tries to play peacemaker like: "She just wants to know what she did". All of my friends do the same thing, we dont tell anyone. The peacemaker doesnt know this girl like we do, this girl runs off "crying" every day. We got sick of it. The peacemaker says she's in there crying, but she emerges moments later looking a bit pissed but not like she just had a crying session to match that dramatic departure. We suspect the dash was one of the usual sympathy bits. She's then pissed for a bit and we know she's gonna want to talk to me. I explain that tons is on my mind and she always ends up being the one to do something that annoys me enough that i explode. Then all 3 of us explain what's wrong to her. She then starts to cry, but this time we know we got through to our problems and that those are REAL tears. Now we're fine i hope. We all truly love her to bits, and she's actually a really great and sweet person. I wouldn't want to lose her as a friend. It was kind of fun to be able to just go off on someone like that though, i think it's what i really needed. Maybe i should explode more often... hmm... could be. What is with me and writing journals so long?!!! "Perpetual motion, the image wont focus. A blur is all thats seen. But here in this moment, Like the eye of a storm, It all came clear to me." I Love the song "Ready to Fall" by Rise Against

I don't think my friends know too much about me at this point, and who knows if i know about them anymore. Today i talked to this girl with my friend. i dont talk to her a lot but she's really nice. she read us a few songs and poems she wrote, and they're really good. my friend wants to start a band. she originally didnt plan to have me in it but somehow she changed her mind without even telling me and now "her and i" are gonna create a band in the next year or two. im thinking awesome, this can be my motivation to finally pick up my guitar and learn to play. Also, my friend sings and i think i would make for an okay background singer at least, but i havent told her that yet. i think this could actually be my chance to tell her i write lyrics so we can use them if we ever do form a band (unlikely we will, actually). but while we were there she decides she's gonna let this girl in on that we wanna make a band and that she wants her to write the songs for the band. the girl doesnt really react, but all the same. ARGH! when will i ever be honest with her???!!! i just found out today she writes songs when she's bored. i thought about telling her at the time, but im not ready. im just not ready to tell someone, im not ready to let my friends know. mainly because they'll wanna read it, and then i'll have to explain what it's about, and i dont want to. Also now that i think about it, she said she writes when she's bored. i dont write when i'm bored, i write whenever i want to and more importantly whenever i need to. writing lets me get everything of my chest before i burst from not saying anything. Plus the friend i've been writing about will want to make it into a song, which bugs the HELL OUT OF ME!!! she says that every time someone writes something good. Her: That should be a song! Me: Yea Her: Im gonna make that into a song. Me: Dont. u shouldnt. When she wonders why she shouldnt im sittin there thinkin: Dumbass. maybe they wanna make it a song THEMSELVES. it is so annoying when she does that. Thats why i dont wanna tell her and i might not wanna be in a band with her. im afraid she'll take over it or something. I showed her a song lyric i had made as a joke once. She's then like: "This is good. I'm gonna make it a song and sing it at my next singing class with my teacher." She then proceeded to sing some of the lyrics aloud in the most hideous tune and melody i think i've ever heard. that's why i dont want her seeing my lyrics. i have tunes and melodies and everything set up in my mind the way i want the song to be heard, and she'll take it and twist it and butcher it without even asking me. Im gonna keep my lyrics to myself a bit longer, maybe start my own band with people i meet instead of people i know. Maybe they wont ask what the lyrics mean or try to change the way i imagine my songs. who knows, maybe i'll actually want to tell that person the lyric's meaning. Until then, my silence remains... Dang i wrote a long entry!!! "I'm walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind. On the border line Of the edge and where i walk alone." I Love Green Day

okay, yea. here's the thing... I AM SO GONNA DIE OF BOREDOM!!! ugh. 10:00 PM here. homework to do. life sucks. my friends and i intend to do our homework in the morning. honestly, i'm not sure i intend to do anything at all, but i may have a change of heart for my grade's sake. whatever. dont really care at this time. i just wanna flop down and listen to my music, maybe fall asleep. a little early, but again, whatever. Why am i honestly writing this? No one is probly reading this and if u are u either dont care or are apparently reeeeaaaaallllllyyyy bored. once more, dont care at this time. ask me if i care later. yea, so... Fave Bands: My Chemical Romance Green Day 30 Seconds to Mars All-American Rejects Madina Lake (March 27, as far as i know) Basically the same as before for now. Then again, I always think of more later and forget... Fave songs: same... all i have to say. see ya. enjoy your life. "And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall Fall on your tongue Like pixie dust Just think happy thoughts and we'll fly home" I Luv My Chem

I've been meaning to mention that i've been reading this user Leblanc's journal. I started reading their user journal after we had a small argument in the comments for Boulevard of Broken Dreams and i noticed their name as the latest journal entry a few days later. Leblanc sounds pretty cool. They're a little like me, but at the same time different. Leblanc writes song lyrics apparently. So do i, but i've never told anyone. Not even friends or family. I think Leblanc's lyrics are really good. Also, Leblanc lives in Canada. I have family members who are Canadian and i think Canada is awesome. All of my friends and I joke that i have an odd obsession with Canada, but it's more of a joke. Anyway, check out Leblanc's lyrics if u can. O, i also remembered... Fave Songs: Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Thats all for now folks. get lost. jk.

Play!!!! friggin play, omg!!! it was torture. i have practice all week, every day except sunday. argh!!! we do the same scenes over and over and over because the younger kids keep screwin up cuz they cant follow directions!!! how much brain power does it take to remember you have to stand to the left in the beginning and raise your arms at the end?!!! I was going to die, but at least i would die laughing. my friends and i constantly crack each other up. Hopefully tomorrow's play practice will be better and we wont rehearse (yea i know it's spelled wrong) a lot of the scenes im in so i can sit at the back and listen to my Ipod! Fave bands: still the same as last time My Chemical Romance Green Day 30 Seconds to Mars All-American Rejects Madina Lake (March 27) Fave songs: the same. I'm too lazy to type the ones from last time but i forgot some: This aint a scene, its an arms race. I write sins not tragedies Makedamnsure It's not over Thats about it for today. "We can wash down this engagement ring With poison and kerosene. We'll laugh as we die..." I

yea, im new to this whole online journal thing and it's just that i really need a place to write junk down and ppl will read it but not ppl i kno. So yea, basically im excited about great stuff in my life and depressed about the other crap in my life, but for now i wanna deal with the happy stuff. First off, my school play is in 10 days, despite the fact we kind of suck currently. Second off, my friend is gonna let me borrow his My Chem CDs so i dont have to buy and download all the songs i like off Itunes. Once he finds the CDs and if he remembers, anyway. Lastly, i'm gonna see like 10 bands soon if everything goes according to plan, and it better because i am getting SO EXCITED. i cant wait. Bands I like: My Chemical Romance Green Day 30 Seconds to Mars All-American Rejects Madina Lake (coming out March 27) My current favorite songs: Vampires Will Never Hurt You Headfirst for Halos Welcome to the Black Parade Famous Last Words Warning Castaway Minority 80 Don't Wanna Fall in Love The Saints are Coming Attack The Kill The Fantasy The Story Modern Myth Night Drive House of Cards There are TONS more, but this is just for now. Keep checking in and you'll find more of my favorites.