its over... me and him.. its done for good i cant live like this anymore... i just cant take the lies... maybe its the undeniable truth i cant stand... he's not made for women... hes not made for love... im glad i dont have to live with that in my brain anymore...

i was soo mad @ him! zach said he didnt really like me, but i didnt beleive. when i asked Him about it, he denies it. oh well. youd think id be ableto rest easier, knowing the truth, but i got not one wink of sleep last night. he still lloves heaven. when shes around he doesnt hardly look at me. he leaves that resonsibility to trevvor, and trevvor is more than happy to oblige. i wonder if i would be happier with trevvor... maybe he'd actua;;y think about me, love me, want to be around me. then again, maybe he'll be like wess, and not...

everythings going perfectly, i can finally sleep and stop worrying about crap. like the test i probably failed yesterday... oh well... i can always make it up for a 70. 70's passing. my dad used to always ask me if thats what i thought. 70's good enough? i didnt but now i do because of him... wess has laryngitis... he never wants to talk to me... why do i love him so much... he is so distant from perfect... hes rude and vulgar but at the same time i just was to be with him... jefferey still wants my bod (or so he says)... ???