is it nearly five fucking am and i cant fucking sleep. i've been awake for nearly 24 hours i hardly ate anything all day my back aches and i cant SLEEP. *rages* im usually a lot happier person than this. j'adore les langues. (even though i cant spell in them and my grammar is all wrong.) je suis TRES TRES TRES fatiguée........... i will write better entries tomorrow..i am not myself when im so upset and tired. until then...shoo.

seriously, people are taking me too seriously my thoughts dont matter! im not like some big mcr and billy talent hater yeah, i realise some people love these bands i dont care i am providing my own opinion i think that music was a lot stronger a few decades or so ago. im not just going "OMG MCR SUCK" with no thought into it whatsoever i have listened to songs other than their singles i even have a billy talent album i dont hate the music i just think there is so much better out there and people dont realise. im not picking on just these bands, i meant it in general and they were examples. i really dont believe there is much creativity in music now and this is only my opinion i dont want to start arguments. there are a few great things happening today but these are not it. regina spektor, joanna newsom, placebo, patrick wolf, martin grech. they are who i respect. if you can find me a my chemical romance song nearly as beautiful, creative and poetic as anything by martin grech i will love you. martin grech wrote his first album when he was 19. every song on it is stunning and mature. no "teenagers" in sight. yet will he make half as much money as gerard way? no. See in through both sides Wants more to life Know your limits boy Once more too high Complicate your words Clever talk won't impress me Suffocate your thoughts Empty my head Fill this full of light And open up can you understand this as quickly as you can Now turn away 'cause i'm awful just to see 'cause all my hairs abandoned all my body oh my agony know that i will never marry baby i'm just soggy from the chemo but counting down the days to go It just ain't living And I just hope you know that if you say goodbye today I'd ask you to be true 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you ? i cant. maybe i'm dumb. but the my chemical romance one seems obvious. and i like to think hard. i like music that makes me stop and think. or if it doesnt do that, i at least want to hear something that blows my mind. i'm afraid billy talent, mcr, fob, panic at the disco etc just dont do that. i realise i am so sad to sit up at 3am doing this. but i have difficulty sleeping anyway. i am sorry if i offended or annoyed anyone, but seriously, dont take what i say to heart. like what you like, i'll respect you all the more for it. but think too. (this is response to devilchild8389s journal about what i said)

hallo =D worry not, you dont seem like a bitch at all xD everyones entitled to their opinion even if i dont agree. i kinda think that, sure some of their lyrics have good morals and messages and stuff like that, but it doesnt take a whole lot of effort to figure out what they're about, and also i just prefer songs where the words are kind of like..i dunno beautiful? or they make you think "that is EXACTLY right". Where is the line? Where is the line? Between your fashion and your mind Where is the line? Where is the line? ‘Cause some of us aren’t blind! this is a good message and i'm glad it'll reach like modern ..youth? i dont wanna say kids cos that seems a bit patronising but youth sounds so stuffy. whatever, anyway i think that adam and the ants song "prince charming" touches much the same theme, but i prefer the way the words go..i sound so dolly! i cant say what i mean xD look it up on youtube if you havent heard it..i have no idea what you'd think of it though lol, its quite a different style to billy talent. and i didnt call billy talent shitty, in fact i said i'd listen to them on a rare occasion xD i didnt really mean it to be an attack on your favourite band or whatever either. i just kinda meant in general. this was long and rambling and i dont think i really said what i mean in it, but oh well! i like you as well :D

haha i was just reading someones journal on here, and they'd written about someone who'd died, and they didnt know personally, but naturally still felt bad for. they mentioned how the website about the band this person was in had set up bits dedicated to him. it was all quite respectful and sorrowful, until it said "and the webstore is selling a tshirt for _____". this makes me laugh, it really does. (and i am not commenting on the person who wrote this entry, i feel that they feel more sorry about the death than the person who sold a tshirt about it.)

i really do love placebo. i have no idea what it is about brian molkos voice, but i adore it. its like..weirdly soothing o.O and i love each and every one of their songs (except protect me from what i want...sorry >.> french version is a million times better). i love how comfortable they are with themselves. and i love that i've never heard anything else like it. i value originality highly. this is probably also why i love patrick wolf - he has an amazing, quirky style, and hes damn talented. having watched live performances (on youtube, sadly) and interviews, he seems to be quite a shy figure who comes alive when performing. electric! moving on from all that prattling. i feel like hell because i'm eating a load of junk (tonight was the first time i had a proper meal in a week), and i'm finding it difficult to sleep so i wake up tired, then i eat more rubbish food to wake myself up..what a vicious circle eh! sid vicious. also i blocked someone on msn i used to really enjoy talking with, which is quite insignificant really but i dont care. my blog, bitch. they made no effort whatsoever to talk to me, then whenever i questioned them about it in our once fortnightly talks (we used to talk constantly) they'd come up with some dumbass excuse that they thought i'd fall for. i cant be bothered with that shit anymore. MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THINGS: im going to see RADIOHEAD for FREE because of my amazing friend giving me a ticket. its in summer, in a big park, and i bet you anything its going to be amazing. also, today i got a book of roald dahls short stories (not the kiddy ones, though i do love them), they're good so far. i'm reading madame rosette. and i have no idea what day, date or time it is. i love you, school holidays.

i've been 16 for about a minute now. hurray! post more tomorrow, need to dry my hair

things i'll never say is my very favourite song by avril lavigne. i'm too tired to write any more for now.