So anyways... I was just talking to Kayli today and I found out alot more about her. It turns out that she is on anti-depression pills. That confused me but she explained it. You would have to meet her! She is just such a happy person! She explained though that she's not when she is alone... I understand her situation completely. So she talked to me about all her problems and it surprised me everything that had gone on with her. I was totally clueless. And it makes me wonder why everyone always tells me everything about themselves. Is it because I'm so open about myself? I mean... I tell people what I beleive I can trust them with. The facts that I had ran away to someone I had met online. I have tried to commit suicide. I've cut alot. Got alot of scars... I mean, I guess it gives people the idea that they can trust me with their problems. Another thing that probably helps is the fact that I'm so quiet. People know for sure that I won't go around telling everyone their life stories. Just my journal... =] Anyways. I'm going to go because my one that is special to me is texting me over and over again and I cannot ignore my beloved! Always, Red. myspace.com/thatcracker

I am called emo so much... It's just completely sad how emo I was once upon a time! Supposedly as everyone says though, I'm doing a lot better lately. The cutting has stopped, BIG accomplishment, no more running away, and now I actually talk and laugh! Everyone needs to start smiling in my opinion. Start looking on the bright side of things. Stop being so negative! Stop being self-conscious! I know I'm working on it! I'm not nearly as self conscious about myself as I once was. I actually think I'm worth something now! I guess I can thank some special people for my accomplishments though... That makes me think too, if you're one of those people... picking on the "emo's"... stop it! Why don't you actually try and make someones life better for a change other than being selfish and only thinking of yourself. We need more people like my friends. People that care. The world is slowly coming to an end in my opinion. Not because of "global warming" or anything political, but just because of the selfishness of people. The greed and hate... and the fact that everyone is spoiled! It's being shown more and more in children as the generations go on. I don't know I'm just rambling about nonsense... If you ever want to talk or message me though, if you're one of those people that needs a friend you can just add me on myspace! www.myspace.com/thatcracker

"Oh, it is love From the first time I set my eyes up on yours Thinking oh, is it love? Oh dear It's been hardly a moment And you are already missed There is still a bit of your skin That I'm yet to have kissed Oh say please do not go When you know you know that i must Oh say I love you so You know you know you can trust We'll be holding hands once again All our broken plans I will mend I will hold you tight so you know It is love from the first Time I set my hand into yours Thinking Oh is it love? Dear, its been hardly three days And I'm longing to feel your embrace There are several days Until I can see your sweet face Wouldn't it be nice to be older and married with me Oh say wouldn't you like to know right now that we'll be Someday holding hands in the end All our lovely plans will have been I will kiss you soft so you know It is love from the first Time I pressed my lips against yours Thinking Oh is it love? Your heart may long for love that is more near So when i'm gone these words will be here To ease every fear And dry up every tear And make it very clear I kiss you and I know It is love from the first Time I set my lips against yours Thinking Oh is it love? Oh it is love from the first Time I pressed my lips against yours Thinking Oh is it love? I kiss you and I know It is love from the first Time I set my lips onto yours Thinking Oh is it love?" I'm happy today. Oh so happy. Things couldn't get any better than they are right now... I'm so serious it's not even funny. I have my bad days but they are so overcome by my good days! =] Doot doot... "Oh, is it love?"

The other day was a bit depressing.. I feel happy now though! I can't wait until Friday! I get to go to my friends house... =] Not looking forward to tomorrow! Finals start! I don't know anything... Ha ha... Oh well. I have all A's and B's right now so my grades can't drop that far from finals... I don't think. I just jinxed it. -Knocks on wood- Hellogoodbye makes me happy... and i love you. You know who you are

Brandon and Margaret are together! =] It's so strange. Me and Bri were talking about it at lunch and yeah... We were all like, no they're not together and at the end of school Kevin came up to us and told us about it! Woa! I didn't even see it coming. It's cute though. I hope they last. As long as they're happy. I was depressed on the bus though. Just wishing I could be pretty like everyone else. Again, self confidence drop! I just want to be normal. Not have to rely on pills... Have an outgoing personality... Be pretty... Yeah... Then I came home and I had to act happy again, even though I was completely depressed. I hate myself, I have realized. I truely do. Just some days more than others.